The last couple of workshops, I have facilitated, have very much been focused on personal change. It is interesting with change as some people love change and others do not. Change can be easy, and sometimes it can be very difficult.
In the workshops, we have explored the drivers of change, and the necessity of having personal goals, which are both important and your own. Many people are today pursuing goals that are externally driven and the goals might come from their parents, peers, boss, the media or elsewhere. As we have talked about earlier, it really imperative to have goals that are your own. The internal desire to reach your goals, is what drives change, and helps you move forward.
We cannot talk about change without looking at resistance. While you might have identified your goals and many people have, you might be held back from going after what you really want due to fears, lack of ability, pressure from others, procrastination, 'excusitis' and so on.
This week I reached another milestone as I turned 40, and my email box has been full of birthday messages. I am very grateful for the many messages I received from friends and family.Apart from wishing me a happy birthday, many messages talked about time and how it seems to fly. It does not seem that long ago, we were doing this, that or the other thing.
Time is indeed amazing, and I am personally having a hard time comprehending it as well. It was just a short while ago, I was in secondary school and moved on to high school. It seems like yesterday that I arrived in Kuala Lumpur for my first overseas posting but it was not yesterday….. It was 18 years ago.
I also got messages about being 'over the hill', and from here, it is only 'downhill'. In other words, you have already had your best years and after 40, it will never be as good as it once was. Now, luckily I don't believe that, and I am blessed by having parents, who are fantastic role models in this respect.
So what is my point? My point is that until proven otherwise, we are only guaranteed this life. As I wrote to my cousin today, we do not know how many years we have left, so let’s make them the best we can.
When we grow older, many of us get comfortable and have our habits, which might not serve us all that well. We might have many excuses for not making changes and doing what we really want to do. We start to believe that we are too old, and we are 'over the hill'. Our beliefs drive our behavior and some start to age very fast.
When I was in high school, I started playing drums when I was around 16. At that time, I was already telling myself that it was probably a bit too late to start playing an instrument since many great musicians started when they were just kids. Now, I am not a genius when it comes to music. I have to work hard, and I am not what you would call a natural talent. However, I love music, and playing an instrument is great as a hobby and I really enjoy it.
Many years later, when I worked in Vietnam, I picked up the guitar, as I wanted to play an instrument where I could actually play the tunes rather than just the rhythms. At that point, I was 30 years old, and once again I was telling myself that I was too old to ever be really good.
So while I learned to play both drums and guitar, I have been dabbling. I was still telling myself subconsciously that I was too old, and I should have started many years ago. By repeating that story, I never gave it as much as I could have.
As I was getting closer to 40, I decided that it was about time to take a new approach, and make it happen. I do hopefully have many many years left, and as somebody once asked: “Dude, when would NOW be a good time to get started?”.I am revamping my guitar play, and with new focus and a different approach, it will happen. I have decided on some specific goals, which are both enjoyable and meaningful. I know I will never be Eric Clapton but I also now that I can be a lot better than I am now. So in short, the 40s will be the decade to really ROCK!
Now, most of us have something that we really want to change or do but for some reason, it has not happened. In the recent workshops, the participants have reviewed their goals, and they left with renewed motivation and faith that it is indeed possible to change and achieve your goals.
What is it for you? If nothing was holding you back, what would you start doing or changing today? What desires and dreams do you have?
We all have a choice, and as one of the contestants said on American Idol this week: “Just do it! Have fun with it.”
And lastly, as none of us would be here if it was not for our mothers;
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Keep Inspiring!
Happy Days
Coach Bay
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