Coach Bay

Coach Bay now at Beat The Monster

2010-09-16T21:21:00.002+08:00

This blog has been discontinued. To follow Coach Bay, please go to:

http://www.beatthemonster.com/blog

See you!

Coach Bay

Youth Leadership

2009-07-19T23:04:00.016+08:00

By Coach Bay

In June and July, I have had the honor of working with a group of extremely talented young people. A fantastic group of 17 management trainees. In June, they went through a 5 days program on self awareness. The program was designed to challenge them enabling them to learn more about themselves and their surroundings.

I have over the years worked with a lot of different groups, and I must admit that these 17 people are the most cohesive and overall best performing group that I have experienced so far. Yes, that is a big statement and it is true. Most of them left university last year to join this organization, so they are still very young and their attitudes and their abilities set them apart. Nothing appears to be impossible. They act like leaders.

“Leadership is not about the size of your office or the title on your business card. It’s about the depth of your commitment and your passion to get things done.” – Robin Sharma

All 17 have all graduated from well-known universities, and through a comprehensive process, they have been carefully selected and hired to be the future senior leaders of this company. They know that when they perform they will go far!

Despite their success, these trainees are humble people, who are willing to learn and be open to new ideas. They know that they have a lot to learn. We took them through exhausting 15-16 hour days full of physically challenging activities coupled with feedback and reflection. They all stayed positive and focused on performing and working as a team.

They worked on annihilating limiting beliefs and they got clear on their goals. They dare to dream and they dare to be unique. At the end of the program, they all left with clarity on their personal values, learning styles, strengths and specific ways to contribute at work. They are role models and lead by example.

These 17 individuals want to make a difference and they will. It is obvious that despite the doom and gloom in the news, there are young people, who are ready to take on the world, and that is really good news!

“You have a duty to shine and if you refuse to accept this responsibility, the world will be a lesser place as a result of this retreat in courage.” – Robin Sharma

Whatever the age, we all have the possibility to lead and shine. We can all be role models and lead by example. You might benefit from reflecting on a couple of questions to get back on track:

What would the child that you once were think of the adult that you have become?
What do you want your life to stand for?
What three things could you do over the next 30 days to raise your life to its next level of excellence?
We have a bit more than 5 months left of 2009, so what do you want this year to stand for?

We all have a choice… I know what the 17 young adults are doing this year but what about you?

“Life is too short to be little.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Winning or Losing?

2009-05-30T16:55:00.018+08:00

By Coach Bay

Last week, I had the pleasure of running another leadership development program for a longtime client in Shanghai. It was a great group of participants, who all came to participate and learn.

During the first day, we talked about personal and company values. At dinner, we discussed the company values, and a participant, Simon, said about passion: “You know, I used to have passion but now I am older and I somehow lost it…..”. I was admittedly a bit surprised as this young man was still young, and it turned out that he was 32 years old.

Based on his initial statement, I asked a couple of questions to get more clarity and it became clear that Simon was busy trying to get a lot done without any real focus or clarity of the end goal.

“Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.” – Vincent Lombardi

At that point, I asked one of my favorite questions:

Are you here to WIN, or are you here not to LOSE?

Simon considered the question, and made it clear that he is here to WIN. He just did not know how….

I gave Simon some homework, which he was supposed to do every evening. I asked him to write a list of 3 things that he appreciates about his life. He was also asked to write down the most important learning of the day.

The daily exercise would help Simon refocus and get grounded. He did his homework and on the last day, we reconnected and I asked Simon to answer this question:

What is ONE thing that YOU really really want to create in YOUR life right NOW?

Simon decided on one area, where he has since created a specific goal. For the next month, he will be focusing on this specific area to make as much progress as possible. Just ONE area! Simon will also continue to reflect on his life every evening and write down 3 things that are great about his life.

“No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated and disciplined.” - Unknown

Why am I sharing this story? Because many of us get lost in your busy lives and we forget why we are really here and what is important to us. The exercise that Simon did is simple and straight forward yet very powerful. You can do it too!

You also have a choice. It often helps to step back, get grounded and refocus on just one priority. When we try to do many things we often get a lot less done. The key is focus.

“Get out of the blocks, run your race, stay relaxed. If you run your race, you'll win. Channel your energy. Focus.” – Carol Lewis

In addition to writing this entry, I have created two short videos, which address the topic in this entry. The videos are both on YouTube. The first video can be found here and the second video is here. It is the intention to make more videos, which will also be posted on this blog.

In the meantime, decide whether you are here to win or not to lose. The answer has a significant impact on how you will live your life.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days!
Coach Bay

Celebrating Life!

2009-04-18T16:23:00.022+08:00

By Coach Bay

It has been a while since the last blog entry. It has been a period with a lot of exciting stuff including work, university, teen camp in Denmark, lots of swim training and time with the family.

Many people have asked me how I get so many things done. In reality though, I have the same 168 hours every week that other people have. I just use them differently. It does require a strong focus and discipline to get it all done, and there are not really any shortcuts. It is a lot of work, and it also involves some sacrifices.

In this post, I will share two stories of people, who do not take any shortcuts either. Similar to the rest of us, they have 168 hours every week and look at what they have accomplished, and they keep going...

The first story is about Team Hoyt. Some of you have probably seen the YouTube videos being circulated, and it is indeed a very moving story. Team Hoyt consists of father Dick and his son, Rick. They compete in marathons, triathlons and other races. Now that might not sound that extraordinary was it not for the fact that Rick has cerebral palsy. Consequently, Dick has to pull Rick in a special boat as they swim, carries him in a special seat up front as they bike, and pushes him in a special wheelchair as they run.

They started in 1977, and by now, they have competed in close to 1,000 events. In 1992, the biked and ran across the USA. Apart from all the physical activity and against all odds, Rick has also acquired a college degree and now works at Boston College. You can see an inspiring documentary about Team Hoyt here.

The second story is about the mayor of Mississauga in Canada. Her name is Hazel McCallion, and she is 88 years old. She has been the mayor since 1977 and is still going strong. She was easily re-elected in November 2006 for her 11th consecutive term, holding a 92% majority of the votes.

She has no wish to retire, and she loves what she does. She used to be a professional ice hockey player, and she still gets on the ice to play. Hazel has humor and lots of energy despite her age. She lives a life full of meaning and purpose. You can see an interview with Hazel here.

When you watch these two stories, it is hard to come up with any reasons for not achieving what you want in your own life. Both the Hoyt's and Hazel have done whatever it takes to make it happen. They have had clear goals, strong focus, been persistent and had an unquestionable faith that it was all possible. Not to mention, they have all worked really hard. They are not quitters but live their full potential.

Through my work with adults and teens, I often come across people, who do not live their full potential. They have consciously or subconsciously decided that enough is enough, "I might not be happy but I am not entirely unhappy either. Being successful requires me to get out of the comfort zone and work harder, and it is a lot easier to stay on the couch."

If you believe in excuses, blaming the world and mastering misery, this last video is for you.

WARNING: It might make you laugh! You can see it here.

We all have a choice. and as it is rather obvious from Team Hoyt and Hazel: "Life is not a spectator sport."

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

The Hamster

2009-02-28T18:02:00.020+08:00

By Coach Bay

Living in the city of Hong Kong, one of the attractions is the energy and the many sounds and sights. It is really a city that never sleeps.

What is also apparent is the fact that people are always busy! You call someone and ask “How are you?” and the usual response is, “I am busy”. It has become part of the culture and the identity. When you see people walking on the street most people seem to be on a mission. They are focused, walking straight and showing little emotion. Basically, if you are not busy, something must be wrong with you!

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” - Robert Frost

Busy is the standard, and sometimes you hear busy people saying: “Yeah, I know I work too much. My life really evolves around work but you know so and so, they work even more....”.

SO WHAT?

People turn into hamsters spinning the wheel, and few jump off to take a closer look at their lives. They basically run their lives like a Formula 1 race but one with no apparent finish line and one that has no pit-stops.

FOR WHAT?

I have just finished reading a very inspiring book called ‘The 4-Hour Work Week’ by Timothy Ferriss. The book has been on various bestseller lists, and Tim is out to challenge a lot of common beliefs. He shows people that it is possible to have a life, there they spend less time on work and make enough money to do what they really want to do.

Now, how cool is that?

Somebody once told me that the key to being successful is really not about having resources but about being resourceful. Tim is definitely resourceful, and I cannot recall the last time I read a book, which was full of so many good ideas and resources.

The book includes a story that addresses the ‘FOR WHAT?’ question. It is a story that has been around for while but the point is still relevant and powerful.

Here we go:

An American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had docked, and inside the boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.

“Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,” the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.

“But…What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Julia and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American laughed and stood tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A. and I can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village, of course move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually New York City, where you could run your expanding enterprise with proper management.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will all this take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years. 25 tops.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, senor? Then what?”

“Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos…”

"Life is what happens to you, when you are busy making other plans." - John Lennon

SO WHAT?

Are you a hamster? Maybe it is time to get off the wheel, and reconsider your options.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Dreams!

2009-01-26T17:00:00.028+08:00

By Coach Bay

We are well into 2009, and today is the first day of the Lunar New Year, which is a big event in many Asian communities. Welcome to the Year of the Ox.

Whenever we begin a new year, most people see it as a fresh start, and many people around the world do hope and wish that 2009 will be a better year. We are globally faced with many challenges, and while it can be overwhelming, it is never too late to start living the life that you really want. While there are many things, we don't control, there are indeed many things that we do control.

If we look beyond the doom and gloom in the news, there are great examples of people, who do take their lives in their own hands and live it like they want to make the most of it. I know from my own parents (67 and 68 years old), that it benefits to continue learning, growing and contributing while pursuing things that you really want.

“Planting your lazy butt on the couch watching the world go by will never make you a rock star” - Coach Bay

Being blessed with parents, who are role models, I came across this inspiring story, which illustrates that I want to convey. The story is called ‘Dreams’, and I hope you will find inspiration in the story to go beyond excuses and get moving towards your goal.

Dreams by author unknown

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change."

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

"Do you have a dream, a wish, then turn it into a goal today - break it down, take one step, then another and accomplish your dream." - Catherine Pulsifer

This is 2009 and the Year of the Ox. Despite the many challenges in the world, you can decide to make this the best year for you and your family. What is your choice?

"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
- Benjamin Button

Happy New Year to all of you, and for our Chinese readers, Kung Hei Fat Choi! May the Year of the Ox provide you with more happiness, prosperity and better health.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Making Somebody's DAY!

2008-12-13T11:18:00.001+08:00

By Coach Bay

In November, I attended a leadership forum in Xian, China. The last day, we had CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) activities. I went for the opportunity to work in a soup kitchen. Little did I know that I was about to meet one of the most authentic and inspiring people, that I have ever met; Tony Day.

Tony used to be a busy executive back in the UK working 16 hours a day, making lots of money, having a nice house, a great car and a sexy red motorbike. In 2002, he went on a retreat and did some soul searching. After 12 years of hectic corporate life, he decided to quit, sell all his belongings and leave the UK. It was something he just felt he had to do.

After traveling in Europe for 2 years, he went to China with a plan of continuing to India. During his stay in China, he looked for volunteer work but did not find any. In the end, he decided to start his own, and he opened the Yellow River Soup Kitchen in Xian. Apparently, the first ever soup kitchen in China. That was December 2005.

Three years later, the soup kitchen has come a long way despite many challenges during the initial years. Tony knows that this is what he is here to do, and he has faith that it will all work out. I asked him why he is doing all this? What is the drive? He looked at me and said “It is in my stomach. I simply got to do it. That is it”. In other words, Tony Day has found his calling, and it is obvious that he has absolute clarity, and is taking massive action.

In addition to serving 2,000 meals per month, Tony has started other initiatives to help the less fortunate. They distribute old clothing and shoes every week, provide basic medical care and operations when possible, Every few weeks visits are made to poor rural mountain villages typically visiting 5 villages at a time and distributing clothing and household goods to up to 1,000 people. They mobilized supplies to the victims of the Sizhuan Earthquake where they helped 2,000 people.

Tony is on a mission, and he has sponsored 90% of the initiatives so far, and he has turned down several potential sponsors, who have offered money. He wants to keep it pure.

When we visited the soup kitchen, we had an opportunity to serve the homeless together with Tony and his dedicated Chinese staff. It was an awesome day, where the homeless expressed a lot of gratitude for all us business people coming to serve them. They also received warm clothes and shoes for the winter.

The business people on the other hand were grateful for having the opportunity to serve the homeless. It was a humbling and touching experience. We saw smiles and sadness, we saw gratitude and we saw pain. Each face told a different story but it was obvious that they all genuinely appreciated what the Yellow River Soup Kitchen provides.

In the last blog entry, we talked about Bill Clinton, Jet Li and other famous people coming together in Hong Kong to discuss how we can make the global village a better place. Tony Day is not famous, and he did not attend the meeting. Instead he has made a commitment to helping less fortunate people in a place far from his home. He is leading by example.

With the risk of sounding like a broken record, we all have an opportunity to serve and make a difference. Few will do what Tony has done but less can still have a huge impact. Tony's charity logo is based on the principle of dropping a pebble in the water and watching as the ripples spread.

We are soon entering 2009, and the world is full of challenges. Whenever there is a problem or challenge, there is also an opportunity to make things better.

The question is: What can and will you do to make a difference?

We can all drop a pebble. Do you remember Jet Li's formula:

1 person x 1 dollar (yuan) per month = 1 big family

This is likely the last entry before Christmas, and I want to take this opportunity to wish the homeless, Tony Day, his staff and all of you readers, a wonderful Christmas. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Claus. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?" - Jon Bon Jovi

Enjoy the holidays.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Living is Giving

2008-12-06T17:57:00.020+08:00

By Coach Bay

This week, the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) had its first ever meeting outside the USA. Leaders from across the globe came together in Hong Kong to discuss pressing issues such as poverty alleviation, education and environment.

"Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that can." - Margaret Mead

The members made different commitments, which are specific projects that will improve one of the 3 focus areas. President Clinton said over and over again, that we cannot let the current financial crisis get in the way of doing good and helping the people, who really need our support.

“In my life now, I am obsessed with only two things: I don’t want anybody to die before their time. And I don’t want to see people spend their energies without making a difference.” – Bill Clinton

One of the speakers at the event was Chinese actor Jet Li. Some of you will know Jet Li from one his many action movies. Jet has since 2007 embarked on a very different journey, and he is now committing his time to something else than making movies. He has started his One Foundation, which promotes this formula:

1 person x 1 dollar (yuan) per month = 1 big family

While Jet is a superstar, he believes that everyone giving a little will make a much bigger impact. With China having a population of 1.3 Billion people, one can only agree. Imagine each person giving 1 dollar a month...

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give" - Winston Churchill

At the Clinton Global Initiative, there were many famous and rich people but the point is that we do not have to be rich and famous to make a difference. We can still have an impact by giving whatever we can, and as more people realize that, the results will be amplified.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have had several people asking me: “Are you really using your vacation to volunteer at CGI?”, and the answer was a big YES. Some people looked puzzled, and one responded: “I wish I had that much leave”. Now surprisingly, I do not have more leave than other people. I just spent it differently, and I invest my time outside of work in things that I believe will make a difference.

We all have 168 hours in a week, and it is up to each of us, what we do with those hours. Most of us have work, which is hopefully something we enjoy. Outside of work, we make different choices. I watch a lot less TV than I used too, and I now invest more time in the different youth coaching projects, that I am passionate about. It is not about right or wrong, good or bad, it is about making different choices, and what I do believe is that your decisions shape your destiny.

Michael Learns to Rock (MLRT) once sang “I am not an actor, I am not a star, and I don’t even have my own car…”. That is true for me but it will not hold me back from believing that the global village can be a better place, and we can all make a difference. That, however, requires that we take action!

Jet Li did not get fulfillment from his fame and movie career. He understood that money, fame or power is not the answer to happiness. He had to do something else, and he found the power of giving. Jet discovered what we call purpose or calling, and he is a lot more fulfilled. He has made a decision to pursue a very different path, and he is taking massive action!

You can read the recent Time Magazine article about Jet Li and his story here.

What is your choice?

What is your commitment?

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Ideas Worth Spreading

2008-11-26T20:39:00.011+08:00

By Coach Bay

Last week I was sitting on an airplane with a colleague. We had a conversation about things that might help and inspire people to be and do more.

She mentioned TED, and the fact that she had only recently gotten to know about TED,and the great organization it is.

The week prior to our conversation, I was having a talk with a vice-principal at one of the schools in Hong Kong. We got carried away in our discussion about supporting and coaching youth, when he also mentioned TED and specifically Dave Eggers talking at TED. Dave was TED prize winner in 2008, when he gave his talk on Once Upon a School.

I know other people who are big fans of TED, and I thought it would be worthwhile sharing the resource with the readers of this blog.

TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from those three worlds. Since then its scope has become ever broader and now includes science, business, the arts and the global issues facing our world.

The annual conference is held in Long Beach, and now brings together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes).

This site makes the best talks and performances from TED available to the public, for free. More than 200 talks are available on the website. As they say at TED:

“We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world.”

So do I, and as you know, this site is dedicated to making the global village a better place for all of us.

Next week, another TED prize winner is coming to Hong Kong. Bill Clinton won the prize in 2007, and he is taking the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) to Hong Kong to have the first meeting outside of the USA. It is a chance for Asia’s most influential leaders to come together and take action to address the most pressing issues in this part of the world.

I have been given an opportunity to volunteer and work at the event. It is a an exciting opportunity to get closer to the action, and support the leaders taking part in the event.

"How wonderful it is that nobody needs to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."

- Anne Frank

What are you doing?

If you need some good ideas, check out TED. Enjoy!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Life Is What We Make It!

2008-11-01T22:29:00.030+08:00

By Coach Bay

Towards the end of October, I was in Shanghai delivering a workshop for a large American company. One of my contacts at the company has followed this blog and my work with young people. She believed that Chinese students would benefit from listening to some of the messages.

As a result, she had arranged for me to speak at the Shan ghai University of Traditional Chinese Medicine. It is not one of the famous universities in Shanghai, and according to the organizer at the university, no other foreigner has spoken there since he joined, which was 2 1/2 years ago. So this was indeed a rare opportunity, and I was very much looking forward to the 2 hours lecture, which I was to give.

“We all have two choices: We can make a living, or we can design a life.” – Jim Rohn

The students came early, and we ended up having 200 students in the room with 50 of them standing as we ran out of seats. They were interested and ready!

I talked about the importance of taking personal responsibility for your life. I talked about following your dreams and being successful through doing what you enjoy and keeping you engaged while you work on something meaningful. Exactly what we have explored in this blog earlier.

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” – Jim Rohn

The students were very engaged throughout the lecture, and we did not finish on time as they had many questions. It was very gratifying, and it was obvious that they are eager and curious about life.

Towards the end of the session, I introduced the Appreciative Eye, and the focus on what is working rather than focusing on what is not working. I explained that in any situation, there is something to appreciate and be grateful for. I then asked them a question.....

"What was great about the Sichuan Earthquake?"

Many students were taken by surprise by my question. After a period of silence, a student volunteered and said "We collected money to help the victims."

Other students then came forward and shared:

"We came together as a country."
"We showed that we cared."
"China showed that we did take it seriously and wanted to help the victims."
"Our country leaders were directly involved. They were role models."
"We proved that we can handle a crisis situation."
“We communicated more openly with the media, and the world got a better view of China.”

The students realized that out of something bad, came something good. They realized:

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." - Charles R. Swindoll

This is very true for the current financial crisis. People react in different ways, and if you watch the news, it is all extremely dramatic, and it is obvious why some people become very anxious and start to panic. I am not saying that the situation is not serious but the media is definitely not helping to make it any better. They use phrases such as "Financial Tsunami", "Stock market bloodbath" and "Global meltdown" while they constantly have breaking news announcing more bad news happening.

There is a lot of uncertainty in the world, and many people are looking for more certainty. It is time to reflect and appreciate what we have rather than what we don’t have. Focus on the things that move us forward and create a better tomorrow. We can change our focus by asking powerful questions and being resourceful. Questions such as:

What is great about my life?
What really inspires me?
What are my most important goals?
Who are my closest friends and allies? How can we support each other?
Where and who can I help right now?
How can I make today a better day than yesterday?

“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you only drown if you stay there.” – Zig Ziglar

I will be returning to Shanghai in 2009 to continue to work with the students. We will be working on designing their lives and achieving their dreams.

Despite the many challenges in this world, there is hope, and as we have seen this week in the USA, change for the better is possible.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days!
Coach Bay

Story: The Blind Boy

2008-10-19T18:55:00.012+08:00

By Author Unknown

It has been a while since the last story was posted. Recently I got a very nice story from a good colleague of mine, and it is definitely worth sharing, so here we go. Enjoy - It is called:

The Blind Boy

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.     

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'       

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.' What he had written was:

'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'   

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?   

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?    

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Think differently and positively.

Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.   

"If you see a friend without a smile, give him one of yours" - Proverb

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling... 

And it is even more beautiful knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Living on Purpose

2008-10-05T15:33:00.013+08:00

By Coach Bay

In September, it was time for a trip to Sanya (Hainan Island), which is also known as the Hawaii of China.

In beautiful surroundings, we ran 3 leadership programs for a group of senior managers. This was module 4 (out of 5), and the group started this specific journey early 2007. In this module, we explored coaching, and we talked about the whole person including the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual parts. The spiritual part is really about finding meaning and living on purpose. In Sanya, we met some very inspiring people, who are living on purpose.

"Be not simply good; be good for something." - Henry David Thoreau

Being a leader is also about giving back and contributing to the community. It is about making a difference to help the world become a better place.

Part of the program content includes CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility), which is a very important component, and in Sanya, that meant something unique.

The last day of the 3 ½ days program was dedicated to CSR. The group would visit the Bright Connection, which is a home for children with cerebral palsy and autism. A very special home, where the group would get a chance to see magic, experience love, and work with the kids.

In 1993, the founders John and Maggie Davis moved from the USA to China to work with a hotel management company. In October 1997, they learned of an eight months old orphan with autism and cerebral palsy.

They visited the little girl in the local hospital and with the Doctor’s advice and agreement from local authorities they brought this baby into their home. Seeing that this baby had specific special needs they began studying and learning all they could about cerebral palsy and autism.

With the help of a Chinese doctor and therapist, they created and began an in-home therapy program, first addressing her inability to stand or walk. In August of 2002, they completed the adoption of their child while in America and began preparing a plan to open a center in China to help other children like their daughter.

The Vision and Mission Statement of The Bright Connection:

“We at The Bright Connection believe all children regardless of physical or mental status deserve the right to be loved, and have the opportunity to be prepared for independent living.”

In February 2004, The Bright Connection officially opened in Sanya, Hainan Island, putting their vision into action together with the help of Chinese people. Several months later, and after years of daily training and exercising, this little girl named Qiong Jian Davis began walking all by herself!

John and Maggie’s hearts are committed to doing all they can do to improve the quality of life for their Chinese daughter and others like her. Today the home has more than 15 handicapped kids. Some are orphans, others are from families, who bring their child to the home to receive the best care available. The kids require constant care and dedicated Chinese employees are working with John and Maggie around the clock to support the kids.

John and Maggie are about to open their second home. They are committed to their purpose. It has been a lot of hard work, and as we know, China has not always acknowledged this side of the society. Having said that, The Bright Connection has very good relations with the local
authorities, who have been very supportive.

The Bright Connection is a foundation that is constantly looking for funds, and mainly relying on support from corporate sponsors and indiduals. John and Maggie are not Bill and Melinda Gates, and they have even given up their own pension plans to make this happen.

It is an amazing story, and it is hard to do it justice in this blog. The participants, who visited the home and worked with the kids were all overwhelmed and very touched.

They were touched by seeing the kids, who were obviously developing in a very caring home. They were touched by the fact that a couple of foreigners had ‘given up’ their normal lives to come to China to selflessly help less fortunate kids.

It was an awesome day!

"One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have whole-hearted enthusiasm. One needs to feel that one's life has meaning, that one is needed in this world." - Hannah Senesh

In this blog, we have talked about happiness and fulfillment through the pleasurable, engaging and meaningful life. John and Maggie have definitely found meaning, and they are both very much engaged and enjoying the journey.

I first visited John and Maggie 3 years ago, and it has been gratifying to see how the home and the kids have developed. It is indeed magic, and it is gratifying to know that people can make a big difference even with small means. This world needs more people like John and Maggie.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Note: All photos are from the visit. The Bright Connection can be found on www.brightconnection.org

If I Knew

2008-09-11T20:40:00.013+08:00

By Coach Bay

Today is 911, and for many people, that is a very special day. For my wife and I, the day has a very special meaning too, as our daughter, Alicia, was born on 911. So we know that miracles can happen on this day!

This week I received an email from one of my cousins in Denmark. It contained a very special poem, which is posted all over the Internet and actually predates the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks by more than a decade. Attribution varies from post to post, with many different people taking, or being given, credit for it.

Originally titled "Tomorrow Never Comes," it was actually written by Norma Cornett Marek in 1989 as, in her words, "a tribute to a beloved child I lost, in hopes it would cause people to never be careless or too busy to let our loved ones know we love them."

Norma Marek passed away July 18, 2004, after a prolonged battle with cancer.

This week Lance Armstrong announced that he is coming out of retirement to go back on the bike to support the fight against cancer. This year more than 8 million people will die of cancer.

30,000 children die every day, one every three seconds, because of extreme poverty.

More than 3 million people die from AIDS every year.

And I could go on...

This site is dedicated to living the best life possible, and amid all the misery there is indeed beauty, and as the last blog entry said “Celebrate What’s Right in the World”. When we appreciate what is right, we get the energy to fix what is wrong.

Maybe 911 is a good day to pause, be grateful, and just think of what is really important in your life….

Norma's poem has a very special message, and I know that you will enjoy it. Here we go:

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time  That I'd see you fall asleep,  I would tuck you in more tightly  and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time  that I see you walk out the door,  I would give you a hug and kiss  and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time  I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,  I would video tape each action and word,  so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,  I could spare an extra minute  to stop and say "I love you,"  instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time  I would be there to share your day,  Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,  so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow  to make up for an oversight,  and we always get a second chance  to make everything just right.

There will always be another day  to say "I love you,"  And certainly there's another chance  to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,  and today is all I get,  I'd like to say how much I love you  and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,  young or old alike,  And today may be the last chance  you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,  why not do it today?  For if tomorrow never comes,  you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time  for a smile, a hug, or a kiss  and you were too busy to grant someone,  what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,  and whisper in their ear,  Tell them how much you love them  and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"  "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never comes,  you'll have no regrets about today.

Let’s just take a minute and focus on the important people in our life. Let’s be grateful for what we have, enjoy the present and help our neighbors in the Global Village to make it a better place for every body. There is HOPE!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Celebrate What's Right With The World

2008-08-17T12:41:00.033+08:00

By Coach Bay

Not that long ago, I received an email from a very good friend, Dr Judy Krings, who is from the USA. The text was short and sweet. It just read; "You will love this".

The email had a link to a MySpace site, and I clicked the link. What a great surprise! The link produced a video called 'Celebrate What's Right With The World'. The video is made by Dewitt Jones, who is a freelance photographer for the National Geographic.

"By celebrating what is right,

we find the energy to fix what is wrong"

- Dewitt Jones

I got to know Judy through a coaching class, which I am doing in the US. She is a great friend and a fantastic individual. She is a gifted psychologist and coach, who work with people to help them discover their inner resources and become the best they can be.

The fundamentals of the coaching program are build on Positive Psychology, which is very much focused on 'what is right with people?' rather than 'what is wrong?'.

Part of our course includes taking the VIA Strengths assessment (www.viastrengths.org), which will provide you with an overview of your top strengths. Judy's top strengths include 'Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence' and 'Gratitude'.

When I was watching the video by Dewitt Jones, it was so obvious that Judy's top strengths were in play.

Dewitt's message is all about noticing what is right in the Global Village. Many of us spent a lot of time focusing on what is wrong and all our problems. Dewitt does the opposite and what a difference that makes.

When we run leadership workshops for our clients, we often use the "Appreciative Eye", which is doing exactly what Dewitt is suggesting. The participants start to focus on what is working rather that what is not working. In the corporate world, we have often been programmed to find the problems and fix them rather than identifying our strengths and build on those to reach our vision. We show them how to focus on possibilities rather than limitations.

Dewitt has worked for National Geographic where the vision is to "Celebrate What's Right With The World".

He is a gifted story teller and visually the video is awesome too. Dewitt used to think "I will not believe it until I see it". Lots of people have that belief but what about his suggested alternative: "I will not see it until I believe it."

Our vision controls our perception, and our perception becomes our reality. So what are we looking at when we walk around in the Global Village?

Dewitt recommends a couple of useful questions, which are useful whether we are at work or at play:

What is right with the situation?
What is here to celebrate?
What are the possibilities?

When we go through our coaching training, we learn about powerful questions. We learn that by asking better questions, we get better answers.

"When we believe it, we will see it." - Dewitt Jones

We all have talents and strengths. We all have something to unique to give to this world. We all have the opportunity to transform something from ordinary to extraordinary and from success to significance.

"The difference between a good frame and a great frame is measured in millimeters, not miles...." - Dewitt Jones

Watch the movie, and enjoy it! It is really awesome. You can find it here.

I know how both Judy and Dewitt live their lives. Every day, they ask very powerful and empowering questions, which give them inspiring and uplifting answers.

What about you? Let's start celebrating!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Embracing Diversity

2008-08-06T13:36:00.019+08:00

By Coach Bay

Summer is everywhere, schools are closed, and many people are on vacation. We have returned to Hong Kong after 3 great weeks in Denmark.

The first week, I spent as an instructor at Camp True North. This July, 160 teens went through the 5 ½ days camp just outside Copenhagen. It was an intense and high-energy event. The venue was a high school, where we worked, lived and played full out. The teens learned fundamental things about being a role model and taking responsibility for their own lives.

They explored their personal learning styles and strengths, while appreciating and working with others. At the end of the week, they had established individual clear goals, and they had made commitments to pursue their goals.

As a teen, it is so critical to fit in. Their personal image is very important, and it is amazing to see the groupings that happen so quickly the first day at camp. It is driven by what we call the 'Fear of Image' or FIMAGE. They quickly form smaller groups with other teens, who dress the same way and have similar interests. It is amazing to observe.

You might have heard about the 18/40/60 rule:

"When you are eighteen, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you are forty, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you're sixty, you realize that nobody's been thinking of you at all." - Dr Donald Amen

Throughout the camp, we work with the teens to break down the importance of their personal image. As we move along, we take them through different activities.

The teens also get to share very personal stuff with other participants. Gradually, we see the transition, and at the end of the week, they have bonded with other and, on the surface, different teens. Some they would never have talked to in the ’real world’. The kids have shared personal stuff, which they have never shared with anyone else - not even their closest friends.

Through this journey, they come to appreciate diversity, and the fact that even though we look and act differently, we all have something valuable to offer. We are all people, and just maybe, we are actually not that different.

When we leave the camp at noon on Saturday, you see a lot of hugs, hi 5s, laughs and tears. It is obvious that the camp has helped to break down walls and create some new and very close relationships that will last a long time.

What a gift!

The Global Village would be a better place if we could all learn to celebrate diversity and embrace our neighbours.

This week, the 2008 Olympics will start in Beijing. The Chinese have done whatever they can to make this the biggest and best Olympics ever. The games officially begin on 08.08.08 at 08.08 PM. Yes, as some you might know, the number 8 is a very lucky number for the Chinese, and the date has been chosen carefully.

It will be another event, where different countries and cultures will meet and new friendships will be formed. Young athletes will be performing at their very best representing their country.

Millions will watch, and millions will be inspired.

Much has already been said and written about these games including China’s role and responsibility within the Global Village. May this be another important step forward for the Chinese to continue to address the issues.

This is an opportunity for all of us to come together and celebrate diversity as the teens did at the camp.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Oprah goes to Stanford

2008-07-02T21:13:00.004+08:00

By Coach Bay

The last blog entry was about J K Rowling doing this year's commencement address at Harvard University. A week later, Oprah was having the honor of doing the commencement speech at Stanford University in California.

Oprah delivered an inspiring speech, where she shared her personal experience, and provided the graduates with sound advice. You can see the full speech on video here.

Oprah talked about taking personal responsibility for your life. Rather than blaming somebody for your circumstances, take charge and ask yourself what you can do to make it better.

"When you are doing the work, you are meant to do, it feels right, and everyday is a bonus." - Oprah, Stanford 2008

She told the graduates about purpose and doing what feels right rather than trying to live up to other peoples expectations. Trust your feelings and your gut! Do what you are here to do. We all have a purpose, and we all have our unique gifts to share.

"To move forward, you have to give something back" - Oprah, Stanford 2008

Oprah highlighted the importance of service, and using what you do well to serve something bigger than yourself. We do not need a degree or special skills do that. We can all serve with the resources we have.

Tomorrow, we are leaving for annual vacation in Denmark. Next week, I will be spending another week as instructor at Camp True North for Danish teens. It is camp where we teach teens life and leadership skills.

It is such an awesome experience, and it is definitely a week, where I get to do what I love doing while serving something greater than myself. An extremely gratifying week.

As we have talked about so many times, we can all serve!

Have a great summer.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days

Coach Bay

Harry Potter goes to Harvard

2008-06-11T18:55:00.016+08:00

By Coach Bay

On several occasions, I have talked about the importance of pursuing something that you really really want while utilizing your strengths and serving others. We all have a responsibility to use our gifts wisely and to serve something bigger than ourselves.

Last week Harry Potter's 'mother', J K Rowling, went to Harvard University to give the Commencement Address for the 2008 Harvard graduates.

According to many people, J K Rowling gave one of the most inspiring commencement speeches ever.

She talked about her own struggles, facing poverty and failing before she finally pursued her passion and purpose.

One of my favorite questions is; "Are you here to win or are you here not to lose?". I often use this question in workshops and in coaching to determine the focus of the participants.

J K Rowling pointed out that we will not go through life without failing one way or the other. Unless we play it safe but then our life has been much less than it could be and that is an even bigger failure.

She shared her own story about finally stopping to pretend and instead setting herself free to pursue that inner drive and write novels. We all know what happened after that...

J K Rowling highlighted the importance of close relationships, personal learning & growth as well as using your gifts to serve others. She shared her experience working at Amnesty International in her early 20s helping victims in the 3rd world.

Her close friends have been with her since school, and J K Rowling talked about the importance of having close friends, who will always be there for you.

It is an awesome speech, and you can enjoy the full speech here or by clicking on the photo.

As J K Rowling says: " Your life is not your CV". So what is it for you?

While most of the readers of this blog are not Harvard graduates, most of us do have more than we need. We do have the ability, and we have the opportunity to touch the lives of the more needy. We can make a real difference if we so decide.

As J K Rowling points out: "We do not need magic to transform our world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already, we have the power to imagine better."

So turn on the imagination, and let's get started.......

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Is it too late? - Part II

2008-06-02T15:09:00.016+08:00

By Coach Bay

With the response I got to the last blog entry, I felt that it was appropriate to explore it further.

Several readers provided examples of people, who have decided to make the most out of their lives irrespective of whether they are in their 40s, 50s or 90s!!! Age is not an issue, they just make it happen - Thanks for all the great examples.

"It is never to late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot

I have just returned from 2 weeks in Xiamen, where we did 4 leadership development workshops. Again part of the content was about personal change.

As adults, we have adopted many beliefs and some of them are limiting our further progress. We might have developed habits, which are working against us, and these habits can be hard to change. Frank Outlaw puts it very well in "It's all about Character":

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become your habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

In order to change, we work with people to make them more aware of their thoughts, actions and habits. We help them realize that they do have a choice.

Many of us live in environments, where we are comfortable. We are OK and many settle for OK rather than fully exploring our potential. We have our habits, and we settle for less than we could be. Life becomes predictable, and some people even stop growing and learning.

We know what we have but we do not know what we get if we decide to set a higher standard and explore our potential.

Based on the response from readers of this blog, it is obviously not too late!

So what does it take to build a new habit? Most research shows that it takes 21-30 days to build a new habit given that you exercise the new behavior daily. It is also recommended that you do not try to create more than 2 new habits at a time. Many people become to confident and try to do too much in one go.

It is also recommended to get support from people around you to reinforce the new behavior. Being accountable to another person increases the chances of building a new habit dramatically.

While I am writing this blog entry, I am playing the Live Aid DVD. Yes, it is the original Live Aid concert from 1985, which for me is the biggest concert ever. At the time, I was in high school, which was a fantastic period.

The concert was also described as "The day the music changed the world". The concert was indeed about changing the world, and even though it was more than 20 years ago, many of the artists are still out to make the Global Village a better place. That would include artists such as Sir Bob Geldorf, Madonna and Bono. It is not too late....

I decided to play Live Aid, when I came across the following story by Collin McCarty. Recalling my days in high school, and what worked for me at the time, it is definitely possible to enjoy the magic again!

Sometimes it is not about changing but simply tapping into our existing resources. Many of us tend to forget what we already have. We ignore our natural strengths and the simple stuff that works for us.

Enjoy the story:

Begin Again
by Collin McCarty

One of the best things we can do in our lives is this: begin again.

Begin to see yourself as you were when you were the happiest and strongest you've ever been.

Begin to remember what worked for you (and what worked against you), and try to capture the magic again.

Begin to remember how natural it was when you were a child - to live a lifetime each day.

Begin to forget the baggage you have carried with you for years:
the problems that don't matter anymore,
the tears that cried themselves away,
and the worries that are going to wash away
on the shore of tomorrow's new beginning.

Tomorrow tells us it will be here every new day of our lives; and if we will be wise, we will turn away from the problems of the past and give the future - and ourselves - a chance to become the best of friends.

Sometimes all it takes is a wish in the heart to let yourself...

Begin Again

What is your magic? It is never too late….

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Is it too late?

2008-05-10T14:22:00.027+08:00

By Coach Bay

The last couple of workshops, I have facilitated, have very much been focused on personal change. It is interesting with change as some people love change and others do not. Change can be easy, and sometimes it can be very difficult.

In the workshops, we have explored the drivers of change, and the necessity of having personal goals, which are both important and your own. Many people are today pursuing goals that are externally driven and the goals might come from their parents, peers, boss, the media or elsewhere. As we have talked about earlier, it really imperative to have goals that are your own. The internal desire to reach your goals, is what drives change, and helps you move forward.

We cannot talk about change without looking at resistance. While you might have identified your goals and many people have, you might be held back from going after what you really want due to fears, lack of ability, pressure from others, procrastination, 'excusitis' and so on.

This week I reached another milestone as I turned 40, and my email box has been full of birthday messages. I am very grateful for the many messages I received from friends and family.

Apart from wishing me a happy birthday, many messages talked about time and how it seems to fly. It does not seem that long ago, we were doing this, that or the other thing.

Time is indeed amazing, and I am personally having a hard time comprehending it as well. It was just a short while ago, I was in secondary school and moved on to high school. It seems like yesterday that I arrived in Kuala Lumpur for my first overseas posting but it was not yesterday….. It was 18 years ago.

I also got messages about being 'over the hill', and from here, it is only 'downhill'. In other words, you have already had your best years and after 40, it will never be as good as it once was. Now, luckily I don't believe that, and I am blessed by having parents, who are fantastic role models in this respect.

So what is my point? My point is that until proven otherwise, we are only guaranteed this life. As I wrote to my cousin today, we do not know how many years we have left, so let’s make them the best we can.

When we grow older, many of us get comfortable and have our habits, which might not serve us all that well. We might have many excuses for not making changes and doing what we really want to do. We start to believe that we are too old, and we are 'over the hill'. Our beliefs drive our behavior and some start to age very fast.

When I was in high school, I started playing drums when I was around 16. At that time, I was already telling myself that it was probably a bit too late to start playing an instrument since many great musicians started when they were just kids. Now, I am not a genius when it comes to music. I have to work hard, and I am not what you would call a natural talent. However, I love music, and playing an instrument is great as a hobby and I really enjoy it.

Many years later, when I worked in Vietnam, I picked up the guitar, as I wanted to play an instrument where I could actually play the tunes rather than just the rhythms. At that point, I was 30 years old, and once again I was telling myself that I was too old to ever be really good.

So while I learned to play both drums and guitar, I have been dabbling. I was still telling myself subconsciously that I was too old, and I should have started many years ago. By repeating that story, I never gave it as much as I could have.

As I was getting closer to 40, I decided that it was about time to take a new approach, and make it happen. I do hopefully have many many years left, and as somebody once asked: “Dude, when would NOW be a good time to get started?”.

I am revamping my guitar play, and with new focus and a different approach, it will happen. I have decided on some specific goals, which are both enjoyable and meaningful. I know I will never be Eric Clapton but I also now that I can be a lot better than I am now. So in short, the 40s will be the decade to really ROCK!

Now, most of us have something that we really want to change or do but for some reason, it has not happened. In the recent workshops, the participants have reviewed their goals, and they left with renewed motivation and faith that it is indeed possible to change and achieve your goals.

What is it for you? If nothing was holding you back, what would you start doing or changing today? What desires and dreams do you have?

We all have a choice, and as one of the contestants said on American Idol this week: “Just do it! Have fun with it.”

And lastly, as none of us would be here if it was not for our mothers;

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Slow Dance

2008-04-20T14:52:00.020+08:00

By Coach Bay

Time for a bit of inspiration. Another great story from my good friend Yim Choong Chow in Malaysia. Thanks Yim!

This story has been circulating on the internet for years, where it has inspired thousands of people. While it has been claimed to be written by a little girl with cancer, it was actually written by David Weatherford back in 1991. Irrespective of who the author was, it is a fantastic poem with an important message.

So here it is for all of you. Enjoy!

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Life is good! Take time to enjoy it.

I will be going to Shanghai tomorrow to run a 4 days workshop for another group of young aspiring Chinese leaders from Coca-Cola. It will be a week full of learning and growing.

Have a great week!

Keep Inspiring!
Happy Days
Coach Bay

Speak Less, Do More!

2008-03-28T18:34:00.021+08:00

By Coach Bay

When I was writing about Ingrid Ngai last week, I came across a couple of very relevant and interesting quotes. The first one is from good old Mark Twain:

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded." - Mark Twain

I know which group Ingrid belongs to. It is less crowded where she is, and my hope is that more people will join her. The Global Village needs it!

Personally, I am blessed by having a job where I get to work with a lot of people, who are in the less crowded group. On Sunday, I will travel to beautiful Lijiang on the Yunnan-Guizhou Plateau where I will be spending the next 12 days running 3 leadership development workshops back to back. My co-facilitator is none other than Ingrid's mum, Rebecca!

We will have close to 100 participants at the program. This is the 3rd workshop out of a series of 5, which they are attending over a period of 2 1/2 years.

It is a personal journey, where they are exploring who they are now, who they want to be, and how they are going to get from here to there!

We explore personal leadership, which exists on so many levels, and they have set out to identify their individual values, strengths, goals and dreams. What kind of role model do they want to be?

Lijiang is located at 2,400 meters, and home to the Naxi minority. We will visit the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, which is at 4,500 meters. Being in the mountains far away from the office does magical things to people, and it greatly assists the participants's personal explorations.

We will also have a day where the participants will be "Serving to Lead." As we say, "Living is Giving" and as a leader, your role is also to serve others including the local community and the less fortunate. The participants will be going to a local Naxi primary school (see photo), where they will be helping to renovate the school and run activities for the kids.

"After all is said and done, more is said than done." Aesop, 620 BC-560 BC

My hope is that the readers of this blog will help to change this. Good intentions do not change the world, action does!

Speak less, do more, go out and make a real difference!

Lijiang, here we come!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

The Real Deal: Ingrid Ngai

2008-03-24T11:18:00.015+08:00

By Coach Bay

As you know, this blog is dedicated to improving lives in the Global Village. Since the blog started a year ago, there has been a lot of stories and writings about things you can do to make your life the best it can be.

Early this year, I promised to write stories about real people, who might not be very famous, but they have chosen to get the most out of their lives. They serve as great examples and role models. They inspire others.

This first entry features a very special person, whom I met during Christmas 2007. Her name is Ingrid Ngai and she is from Hong Kong. Ingrid is currently a student at Virginia Tech (University) in the USA. She is studying Industrial and Systems Engineering (ISE) with a minor in Building Construction.

It all started back in November 2007. I was in Xiamen delivering a leadership development program together with Rebecca, who is a one of my colleagues.

Rebecca was telling me about her daughter, Ingrid. Hearing the story, I asked Rebecca whether I could meet Ingrid during her Xmas vacation as I would love to write about her as I believe that it could inspire a lot of other people out there. It was all arranged so here it is!

Ingrid grew up in Hong Kong, and after being an exchange student in Germany, she went to the USA to study. Ingrid’s mother and her uncle actually chose the major for Ingrid based on what they perceived to be the best for Ingrid. Her mother had also hoped for Ingrid to go to Wall Street after her studies to work for one of the large investment companies, where Ingrid could make a lot of money and consequently live a comfortable life.

BUT Ingrid has her own desire, and a strong will. She has increasing clarity about what she really wants. With a passion for leadership and fixing problems, Ingrid was part of a group from Virginia Tech that went to Mississippi to help reconstructing houses shortly after Hurricane Katrina. She enjoyed it so much that she stepped up and has since organized and led several trips herself.

Ingrid also decided to add her minor of Building Construction as the study is more practical than her major. Her vision is now to finish her studies and subsequently work in the 3rd world helping poor countries construct proper buildings and facilities.

Talking to Ingrid, it became obvious that she has found her strengths, and she has realized what she loves to do! She has also seen the power of helping other people and making a real difference.

She has realized her passion for leading. She loves organizing and doing something for real – hands on. Ingrid is also the President of both the Council of International Student Organizations (CISO) and the Order of the Gavel, the honor leadership society.

Ingrid is a great example of what we have been talking about. She is living a life, where she engages her strengths, does what she loves to do and it has an awful lot of meaning. The good news is also that Ingrid's mother is very proud of all the things Ingrid is now doing.

Ingrid Ngai is only 20 years old, and she has already done more for others than some will do in a lifetime.

Whether we are 20 or 65, we all have a choice. We can all use our strengths pursuing important goals while we enjoy ourselves.

"All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don't discover why. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for others." - Danny Thomas

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: A Carrot, an Egg, and a Cup of Coffee

2008-03-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Over the last couple of weeks, I have received the same story from 3 different people. They are all great people, and I do get a hint. Consequently, I decided to post this very special story on the blog.

The story is about attitude, and for all of you coffee drinkers out there, you will probably never drink coffee the same way again.

Enjoy the story! Here we go:

A Carrot, an Egg, and a Cup of Coffee

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything - they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

The Happiest Nation on Earth - Denmark!

2008-03-01T15:45:00.012+08:00

By Coach Bay

Being a Dane, several people have over the last two weeks pointed out that Denmark once again appeared at the top of the list of the happiest countries in the world.

Most people have heard about the unstable weather and the very high taxes in Denmark. As such, it does come as a surprise to a lot of people including myself.

The American TV station CBS went to Denmark to have a closer look at what is really going on. So this week, you will get a video rather than a story.

Click here to see what they found.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: The Daffodil Principle

2008-02-18T18:18:00.001+08:00

By Coach Bay

Yesterday, I received an email with a very special story. The email was from my mentor in the US. He is a fantastic individual, and I know that what he sends is worth reading. So thank you Ted!

The story is called the “The Daffodil Principle”. It is a very inspiring story, and it connects well with the “No Regrets!” entry last week. As I received a lot of positive responses to the "No Regrets!", I decided to use "The Daffodil Principle" as an appropriate sequel.

I did a bit of research, and I discovered that the story was written by author Jaroldeen Edwards originally appearing in a book called “Celebration!” from 1995. The story about the Daffodil Garden is true and the garden does actually exist. It is located in the San Bernardino mountain range in California, and the flowers were planted by an amazing woman named Gene Bauer. You can see more here.

The story has since traveled the world, and many people have used it for inspiration.

So here we go! Enjoy the story…..

The Daffodil Principle by Jaroldeen Edwards

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over."

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and the children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "Please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, "Daffodil Garden ."

We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.

The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain."

The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time - often just one baby-step at time - and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world .

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask,

"How can I put this to use today?"

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....

Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt, and,

Dance like no one's watching.

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

No Regrets!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

No Regrets!

2008-02-07T13:28:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Through my work, I meet many people, who share their personal aspirations and dreams. It is always exciting to hear what people really want to do with their lives.

Often when I have these conversations, I also hear some “What ifs”. What if I had done this? What if I had done that? Should I have done it differently? Should I have done that instead? What if?

We never really know, do we?

We might have regrets, because each decision represents a road not taken. We cannot know what that road would have brought us.

As I have mentioned earlier, I personally believe in making the best of the life given to you. We only live once until otherwise proven.

This is the blog with the theme “Live the best life possible” and part of that is a belief in living a life with “No Regrets”. Let’s make the best of what we have.

The other day when I was going through my files, I came across one of my favorite poems, which I have used at many programs as a closing speech. It is a poem written by Nadine Stair from the US. She was 85 years old when she wrote the poem, and it was only found after her dead.

Enjoy…

“If I Had My Life To Live Over” By Nadine Stair

I would dare to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd
have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly
and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments and if I had it to do over
again, I'd have more of them. In fact,
I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments.
One after another, instead of living so many
years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter next time.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair, 85 years

Nardine had a few regrets, and maybe, just maybe, we can learn from those.

Following the Chinese calendar, we are now entering the Year of the Rat, which we can all make a year with No Regrets! It is all up to you.

Kong Hei Fat Choy / Gong Xi Fat Chai to all our readers.

May the year of the Rat provide you and your family with more happiness, better health and more prosperity.

“Love Your Life, Live Your Dreams” – Oprah

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Living A Life That Matters

2008-01-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Through the "Happiness Series", I have talked about how one can increase his level of happiness and fulfillment through the pursuit of the enjoyable (pleasure), engaging (strengths) and meaningful life.

As part of the meaningful life, we looked at the power of finding your true purpose and pursuing it. We are all here for a reason, and we can all make a difference and live a life that matters and impacts others in the Global Village.

Last week, I delivered another leadership program. The client was a large international bank, with participants from across Asia. So what does a leadership program have to do with happiness and fulfillment?

It is very simple. Leadership start with you as a role model, how you chose your direction and meaning in your life, while supporting and helping others to become the best they can be. One of the core themes through the week was the realization that leadership all starts with yourself.

We talked about "Leading By Example" or "Modeling The Way". In other words, you as a leader being a role model.

Now some readers might say, "Yeah, we all know that, tell us something new". I agree, this is common knowledge for most people, however, the problem is that so many leaders really set bad examples. Most of us have tried to work for such a boss.

Whether in business or at home, we are looking for leaders that we willingly want to follow. Leaders who influence us positively making us want to go with them.

According to global studies done by the two American leadership gurus, Kouzes and Posner, people will follow leaders that are credible. Based on their findings, people around the world consistently came up with these four key characteristics as the foundation of credibility:

Honesty
Forward-Looking
Inspire
Competent

Leadership is not just about becoming the next President of the country or the next CEO of a large company. We all lead at some point, whether it is at home or at work. We all have people, who follow us and look to us for inspiration and direction. It can many or few people. It does not really matter.

What is important to realize is that it starts with you. The way that people spot credibility is to see whether leaders do what they say they will do, whether they actually walk the talk. This is true for all of us. We are judged by not necessarily what we say but what we do.

So as it begins with you as an individual, you have some choice to make. How do you want to live your life? What do you believe in? What kind of role model do you want to be?

"Leading By Example" and being a role model is what we teach not only at our leadership programs but also at the summer camps for teens, where I volunteer. Wherever you are in life, it is never to late to start modeling the way for other people.

None of us are perfect and we all have our defects. Also, all of us have the 'little devil' inside, who some times want us to do things that we know are not good for ourselves or others. To make matters even worse, we make mistakes and we might even carry some 'luggage' around!

However, that should not be an excuse for not doing anything. We all have an opportunity and the ability to work on becoming the best we can be and setting an example for others to follow.

I found a little story written by Michael Josephson from the UK, which hopefully inspires. It is called:

Live A Life That Matters

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is about what you learned as well as what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many felt good when they were around you and how you served them.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters. - Michael Josephson

" If there is anything I would like to be remembered for it is that I helped people understand that leadership is helping other people grow and succeed. To repeat myself, leadership is not just about you. It's about them." - Jack Welch

Live A Life That Matters

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Live or Work

2008-01-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.

Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely.

Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life's little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad.

However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university.

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

Father's hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes Father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

As expected, Father's hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, Father declared to his family that he decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family.

Father did not wake up the next day.

Life is short and until proven otherwise, you might only live once.... So what are you going to make out of it.

It is your personal master piece, so what do you want it to look like? What are you going to spend your time doing? and with whom?

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. - Henry Van Dyke

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: The Builder

2008-01-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project."

Who could say it more clearly? Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Happiness - How do you find it? Part IV

2008-01-08T16:24:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

We have reached the fourth chapter in the series on finding more happiness, and we are going to explore three main areas. In the previous three parts, we have talked about the importance of the enjoyable (pleasure), engaging (strengths) and meaningful life. We have talked about the importance of enjoying the journey to reach significant personal goals.

In this part, we will be looking at significant impact of nurturing the Heart, the Mind and the Body. In other words, we are going to look at the power of personal relationships, positive thinking (or focus) and lastly exercise.

Relationships - The Heart:

Studies across the globe has shown that the one thing that happy people have in common is great relationships. Even in the poor neighborhoods of Calcutta will you find happy people with strong and close relationships within their families and friends.

It is not about the number of relationships but rather how close and deep they are. The more relationship you have, the harder it actually becomes to nurture them all. You have to spend more time on meeting people, phone calls, emails etc. As such, fewer close relationships are better.

I recall a friend of mine once told me that you can't microwave your relationships. What does that mean? It means that relationships require proper development and maintenance. In this day and age, we are so busy, and we have to be more efficient and effective. However, when dealing with real people, we need to put in the proper time and attention to make these relationship work.

Positive Focus - The Head:

Many books have been written about positive thinking, and it has for many years been a focus area both within psychology and self-help books. We know that by changing our thinking habits, we can feel better.

Now, many of you will know that it is not that easy. We build up habits, and thinking can be hard to change. I have chosen to talk about focus rather than thinking. When I talk about focus, it is really about what we focus on every day as go through our daily routines. What we focus on affects our thinking, and that again affects how we feel. Let me give you a couple of examples.

The news is a good place to start. Whether we open the daily newspaper or turn on the TV, we are bombarded with bad news. That would include news about wars, natural disasters, accidents, celebrities misbehaving etc etc. Bad news attracts more viewers and readers but they definitely don't make us more happy. Bad news pollutes our brains. As a consequence, I know many people who no longer follow the news or the subscribe to news selectively, which you can do on different internet sides. One website dedicated to good news is the Good News Network.

Another example would be work. At many work places, it is common to get together over lunch or during a break, and complain about the boss, the company, fellow colleagues etc. While such discussions might create a sense of connection the other people discussing, and it might momentarily make us feel that we are better than the ones, we are talking about, it does not make us happy either. Rather the opposite.

So what can we do? We can focus on things that are good for our thinking. We can listen to our favorite music, watch an inspiring movie, spending time with friends and family who support us, reading books and magazines which make us grow, focus on what is working rather than what is not working, pursue goals that we really really want rather than running away from things that we don't want etc. The list is endless but I guess you get an idea....

One of the most powerful things that we can do is to appreciate what we have in life. In other words, being grateful has proven to have a direct impact on our level of happiness and fulfillment. One of the standard exercises is to get your own little notebook, where you every evening write down 3 things, which are grateful for. It can be anything from being alive to appreciating that a colleague bought you a cup of coffee.

An important key to being happy is about being able to enjoy the present, while appreciating past accomplishments, and being hopeful and optimistic about the future.

Physical Exercise - The Body:

The foundation is really the body, and we all know that but we tend to forget it. When we look at the developed countries, more people are obese, and we are spending more resources treating sick people, where a lot of it could have been prevented, if we had looked after ourselves.

We know about the benefits. When we take care of ourselves physically, we feel better, our concentration improves, we have more energy and we feel less stressed. On the other hand, if our health is suffering, it will affect everything else, and we might not be able to pursue our goals, nurture our relationships, work or simply get out of bed.

It is critical to take care of the body, and we do that by exercising, eating healthy food, and getting enough sleep and rest. None of this is rocket science but many of us do need to be reminded on a regular basis.

We have talked about the Heart, the Mind and the Body. Again, the key is to find ways of nurturing all three in ways that are enjoyable and meaningful to you.

I will this year be writing about example of real people, who are real examples of what I have been writing about over the last couple of weeks. While none of them are perfect, they all live lives, where they are focused on making it pleasurable, engaging and meaningful.

More about that later........

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

What is Positive Psychology?

2008-01-02T20:07:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

What is positive psychology, and how does the study of happiness fit within it? Let's start 2008 with the explanation as many readers have asked me to elaborate on what it actually is.

I recently did a coaching class on positive psychology applications with Professor Chris Peterson at the University of Michigan. Chris is an awesome teacher, and he is one of the leading forces behind the studies on positive psychology. He has this good explanation:

"The underlying assumptions of psychology have shifted (through time) to embrace a disease model of human nature.

Positive psychology proposes that it is time to correct this imbalance and to challenge (those assumptions). Positive psychology calls for as much focus on strength as on weakness, as much interest in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst, and as much attention to fulfilling the lives of healthy people as to healing the wounds of the distressed. It shows us that the psychology of the past sixty years is incomplete.

The most basic assumption that positive psychology urges is that human goodness and excellence are as authentic as disease, disorder, and distress.

The concerns of positive psychology includes three related topics:

• The study of positive subjective experiences (happiness, pleasure, gratification, fulfillment, well-being).

• The study of positive individual traits (character, talents, interests, values) that enable positive experiences.

• The study of institutions (families, schools, businesses, communities, societies) that enable positive traits and thereby positive experiences."

In other words, positive psychology focuses on what is working and how it is working!

Hope this explanation helps. Otherwise do let me know!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Eating the Cookie

2007-12-31T17:26:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

With the focus on happiness and goals, I found this story to be a great way of celebrating the last day of 2007, and provide you all with a bit of inspiration for 2008.

I hope that you will enjoy it too... Here we go:

"Eating the Cookie" by Rachel Naomi Remen

Another of my patients, a successful businessmen, tells me that before his cancer he would become depressed unless things went a certain way. Happiness was "having the cookie." If you had the cookie, things were good. If you didn't have the cookie, life wasn't worth a damn. Unfortunately, the cookie kept changing. Some of the time it was money, sometimes power, sometimes sex. At other times, it was the new car, the biggest contract, the most prestigious address.

A year and a half after his diagnosis of prostate cancer he sits shaking his head ruefully. "It's like I stopped learning how to live after I was a kid. When I give my son a cookie, he is happy. If I take the cookie away or it breaks, he is unhappy. But he is two and a half and I am forty-three. It's taken me this long to understand that the cookie will never make me happy for long.

The minute you have the cookie it starts to crumble or you start to worry about it crumbling or about someone trying to take it away from you. You know, you have to give up a lot of things to take care of the cookie, to keep it from crumbling and be sure that no one takes it away from you. You may not even get a chance to eat it because you are so busy just trying not to lose it. Having the cookie is not what life is about."

My patient laughs and says cancer has changed him. For the first time he is happy. No matter if his business is doing well or not, no matter if he wins or loses at golf. "Two years ago, cancer asked me, 'Okay, what's important? What is really important?' Well, life is important. Life. Life any way you can have it. Life with the cookie. Life without the cookie. Happiness does not have anything to do with the cookie, it has to do with being alive. Before, who made the time?" He pauses thoughtfully. "Damn, I guess life is the cookie."

I thought this little story from Rachel was a great example of pointing out the important things in life. We have talked about happiness and the importance of meaningful and enjoyable goals. So if life is the cookie, what is your life about? What do you really really want? What makes you come alive?

As we are entering 2008, check out this little inspiring piece, which I received from a very good friend. It is a movie called "The 12 Tenets". As it said in the email introduction - this movie might serve as food for thought, or it might just change your life. Click here to watch.

"You are in this world for a reason - a magnificent one. It is time to create a master piece! It is time to celebrate and give more of yourself". - Tony Robbins

May 2008 be a marvelous year for all of you and your families!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy New Year
Coach Bay

Happiness - How do you find it? Part III

2007-12-29T12:07:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

In the third part of the series on finding happiness, we are going to explore the importance of goals. It is very common to have resolutions for the New Year, and I thought it would be very appropriate with this piece on goals just before we hit 2008!

We have in the previous two parts talked about the importance of the enjoyable (pleasure), engaging (strengths) and meaningful life. In this part, we will be looking at the positive impact of powerful goals.

Powerful goals are goals that are meaningful and that take us on a journey that is pleasurable.

The importance and power of goals have been highlighted in many places. Goals are the natural motivators of life and research has found a direct connection between pursuing goals and happiness.

Goals are cool. They give us direction, structure and guide our actions. If we have a destination set (The goal), if we know where we are heading, we are much more free to focus on making the most of where we are.

Goals are means, not just ends. The importance of goals are not so much on achieving them but much more on having them.

People in general pursue two types of goals. Either the goal is related to something we want (moving towards) or to something that we don't want (moving away from).

An example of the first type would be "I want to learn to play the guitar" while "I don't want to be fat" would be an example of the latter. Goals related to things that we don't want have proven to create more distress and anxiety. Consequently, to pursue a more fulfilling life and greater wellbeing, one should pursue things that you (really really) want or what is also called positive goals.

Since I am on the topic of different goals, I have to talk about money. When I talk to people in this part of the world (Greater China), I frequently meet people, who tell me that they most important goal for them is to make a lot of money. Money seems to be the overriding goal for many people.

At a recent leadership development workshop, I had one participant, who had a significant breakthrough when it came to goals and money. He had so far been working from the perspective that money was the first priority. As we take the participants through a personal leadership journey where they review what they (really really) want to be in life, he changed his focus by asking a new and very powerful question:

If money is not the most important thing, what would it be?

Now, the answers he got to that question had little to do with financial wealth. He started to talk about teaching and helping other people. Hmmm!

So is money not a good goal? Let's look at some studies done in the USA. Good goals do have some commonalities. Research by Kennon Sheldon (USA) concluded that; "People seeking greater wellbeing would be well advised to focus on the pursuit of goals involving growth, connection, and contribution rather than goals involving money, beauty, and popularity."

Another piece of the research showed that we are a lot happier when we pursue goals that we chose ourselves rather than goals, which are imposed on us (by society, parents, boss, media etc). The goals that are chosen by you come from a desire to express yourself rather than a desire to impress others. The desire for status and for impressing others is often behind the pursuit of money.

Having said that, money can be a more profound goal when it is pursued to support and contribute to something important and meaningful. Examples are; supporting the family, paying for the children's education, contributing to the medical care of a loved one and/or supporting a cause.

I also need to point out that money does provide security and in the Global Village, we still have a lot of people, who on a daily basis are looking for a basic level of security. They are working very hard and often struggling to find money to pay for food, shelter, and other basic items. For those of us, who have more than what is required for the basics, we have a great opportunity to help and support the less fortunate. That might be a very meaningful goal that could also be enjoyable.

Now, after all this talk about positive goals, many of you might say that you know all this. That is all well appreciated yet many people are not pursuing goals that are not their own and they pursue goals, which are to impress others. We are constantly being bombarded by the media telling us what we need to acquire to be happy, or how we by changing the way we look will be happy campers. If I open one of my wife's magazine, every second page will have an add which has to do with beauty and the link between happiness and looking good.

I also personally know many examples of people, who are still trying to live up to the goals that their parents have put in place for them to pursue. Most of them are really struggling. In this part of the world, it is a very fine balance between respecting your parents and pursuing your personal dreams.

So what's next?

Some of you might already have a list of resolutions for 2008, while others might be pondering. Whatever the case, you have an opportunity to decide on some really cool goals, which are significant and meaningful to YOU. The question that I always ask at our workshops is simply:

What do you really really want?

Again this is about you and not your parents, media, friends, the president or anybody else. We are talking about you and what you want in your life! What is meaningful and enjoyable to you? Remember that goals related to personal learning & growth, close relationships and contribution have shown to have the biggest impact on your level of fulfillment and happiness.

Have a fantastic 2008 with lots of magical moments with the great people in your life.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy New Year
Coach Bay

Note: This article was written with inspiration from Tal Ben-Shahar as well as Ben Dean and Robert Biswas-Diener through their respective books "Happier" and "Positive Psychology Coaching".

Story: A Very Special Christmas

2007-12-20T18:29:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

Bobby was getting cold sitting out in his back yard in the snow. Bobby didn't wear boots; he didn't like them and anyway he didn't own any. The thin sneakers he wore had a few holes in them and they did a poor job of keeping out the cold.

Bobby had been in his backyard for about an hour already. Try as he might, he could not come up with an idea for his mother's Christmas gift. He shook his head as he thought, "This is useless, even if I do come up with an idea, I don't have any money to spend."

Ever since his father had passed away three years ago, the family of five had struggled. It wasn't because his mother didn't care, or try, there just never seemed to be enough. She worked nights at the hospital, but the small wage that she was earning could only be stretched so far.

What the family lacked in money and material things, they more than made up for in love and family unity. Bobby had two older and one younger sister, who ran the household in their mother's absence. All three of his sisters had already made beautiful gifts for their mother. Somehow it just wasn't fair. Here it was Christmas Eve already, and he had nothing.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Bobby kicked the snow and started to walk down to the street where the shops and stores were. It wasn't easy being six without a father, especially when he needed a man to talk to.

Bobby walked from shop to shop, looking into each decorated window. Everything seemed so beautiful and so out of reach. It was starting to get dark and Bobby reluctantly turned to walk home when suddenly his eyes caught the glimmer of the setting sun's rays reflecting off of something along the curb. He reached down and discovered a shiny dime.

Never before has anyone felt as wealthy as Bobby felt at that moment. As he held his new found treasure, warmth spread throughout his entire body and he walked into the first store he saw. His excitement quickly turned cold when salesperson after salesperson told him that he could not buy anything with only a dime.

He saw a flower shop and went inside to wait in line. When the shop owner asked if he could help him, Bobby presented the dime and asked if he could buy one flower for his mother's Christmas gift. The shop owner looked at Bobby and his ten cent offering. Then he put his hand on Bobby's shoulder and said to him, "You just wait here and I'll see what I can do for you."

As Bobby waited, he looked at the beautiful flowers and even though he was a boy, he could see why mothers and girls liked flowers.

The sound of the door closing as the last customer left, it jolted Bobby back to reality. All alone in the shop, Bobby began to feel alone and afraid.

Suddenly the shop owner came out and moved to the counter. There, before Bobby's eyes, lay twelve long stem, red roses, with leaves of green and tiny white flowers all tied together with a big silver bow. Bobby's heart sank as the owner picked them up and placed them gently into a long white box.

"That will be ten cents young man." the shop owner said reaching out his hand for the dime. Slowly, Bobby moved his hand to give the man his dime. Could this be true? No one else would give him a thing for his dime! Sensing the boy's reluctance, the shop owner added, "I just happened to have some roses on sale for ten cents a dozen. Would you like them?"

This time Bobby did not hesitate, and when the man placed the long box into his hands, he knew it was true. Walking out the door that the owner was holding for Bobby, he heard the shop keeper say, "Merry Christmas, son."

As he returned inside, the shop keeper's wife walked out. "Who were you talking to back there and where are the roses you were fixing?"

Staring out the window, and blinking the tears from his own eyes, he replied, "A strange thing happened to me this morning. While I was setting up things to open the shop, I thought I heard a voice telling me to set aside a dozen of my best roses for a special gift. I wasn't sure at the time whether I had lost my mind or what, but I set them aside anyway. Then just a few minutes ago, a little boy came into the shop and wanted to buy a flower for his mother with one small dime.

When I looked at him, I saw myself, many years ago. I too was a poor boy with nothing to buy my mother a Christmas gift. A bearded man, whom I never knew, stopped me on the street and told me that he wanted to give me ten dollars.

When I saw that little boy tonight, I knew who that voice was, and I put together a dozen of my very best roses."

The shop owner and his wife hugged each other tightly, and as they stepped out into the bitter cold air, they somehow didn't feel cold at all but their heart warmer.

With this inspiring story, I will take the opportunity to wish you and your families a fantastic Christmas! May it be full of magical and wonderful moments.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Holidays
Coach Bay

Happiness - How do you find it? Part II

2007-12-16T09:33:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

The second part on finding happiness is going to be focused on work since most of the readers of this blog are actually working! Work is actually what takes up most of our time, so wouldn't it make sense to find ways to have a more satisfying and engaging life at work?

In the first part, I introduced the happiness model, which had two dimensions, namely Pleasure and Meaning. Relating that to work, I will add one more dimension, which we will call Strengths. Research has shown that the most engaged and motivated people are the ones that pursue work, which they enjoy (pleasure), utilize their strengths, and which has meaning.

A lot of studies and research have taken place on this topic. Some of you might have heard about strengths guru, Marcus Buckingham, who used to work for Gallup. Alternatively, American psychologists Martin Seligman and Chris Peterson as well as Harvard Professor Tal Ben-Shahar have done research and written about the importance of the engaging, enjoyable and meaningful life. Stephen Covey also explored this topic in the book called "The 8th Habit".

The model looks as follows:

The idea with the model is to identity work and tasks, which meet the model on all three levels:

Pleasure: We enjoy doing the work! We love to do the work or task.

Meaning: The work has a bigger meaning. This is usually either related to personal growth (we learn and develop while doing the work) and/or it is about something bigger than ourselves. That is, the work might have a positive effect on other people including our colleagues, customers, the community etc or it might contribute to making the company more successful. Whatever it is, the most meaningful work is work that we interpret to be about something bigger than ourselves.

Strengths: We utilize our strengths, and in this model, it is not only what we are good at. We might be good at something but if it leaves us feeling tired and drained for energy, then it is not a strength. As Marcus Buckingham has pointed out; a true strength is not only something that we are good at doing but something that makes us feel strong too! Something that enriches us, gives us energy and makes us feel good. That is a true strength.

Work is generally experienced at three different levels:

Job: This is work that we do simply to make money to pay the bills. They are usually not very excited about their work, and they are very much looking forward to weekend and breaks.

Career: People having a career are more likely to actually like their work than people having a job. A career provides us with an opportunity to learn, develop, get promoted and make money.

Calling: This is where the work is really the passion, and the work is gratifying in itself. People with a calling often believe that their work contributes to something good in this world. They tend to think about their work when they are off too. Money is a bi-product.

Many people have told me that they have not found their calling or their purpose. They have been searching but they have still not found the answer. Some are rat racers (see part I on happiness) chasing the next promotion, salary increase or whatever they deem will eventually make them happy. Others are pleasure seekers and put most of their focus on enjoying the current moment while really not spending any time thinking about the future (yet).

The good news is that you can get closer to our calling and purpose by utilizing the above model. The secret to finding your calling or purpose is really to identify work, where the three circles overlap. In other words, finding the common answer to what you find enjoyable, meaningful and utilizing your strengths.

It is important to realize that we are all unique and we find different work to be engaging, enjoyable and meaningful. The surprise to many people is that in any given occupation, people can be viewing it as a the job, career or calling. It is not about the specific occupation but about how we individually perceive our work.

While some people might end quitting their current professions to pursue their calling, many people actually find a lot of purpose in their current jobs. They apply the model to their present tasks, and many start to realize that they are currently not spending enough time on tasks, which they enjoy. Alternatively, they are not doing tasks where they are utilizing their strengths or they do work without a lot of meaning.

Once people become aware of the importance of these 3 areas, they can make their work a lot more interesting by spending more time on tasks, which are within the model. Now, I do realize that we all have to do things that are outside the circles - that is why it is called work. However, applying the principles of the model can bring most of us to a very different level of motivation and job satisfaction. When was the last time that you had a discussion with your boss about strengths, joy and meaning? Personally, I had one as late as this week.

Recently, I was in Xiamen (China) delivering two Leadership Development workshops the same week for the same company. Friday evening, I was to return to Hong Kong and one of the participants drove me to Xiamen airport.

While driving, he asked me: "You must be tired after such a busy week with two workshops?" and I responded: "Actually, I am not tired. I have more energy today than when I started the programs last Sunday". He looked surprised, and asked: "Can you explain that to me?" and I continued: "Of course, it actually simple. I get more energy because I am doing what I really love to do, I am utilizing my strengths and the work has so much meaning. That gives me energy". He looked at me and with a big smile on his face he said: "Now I understand. It is just like when I do my work, and I am an engineer".

Yes, he is indeed an engineer and a very passionate and good one. We are all here for a reason, and while many of us lose track or never really discover why, we do have the ability to explore and get closer to our real calling and our purpose.

I have met a lot of people, who are living their lives on purpose, and spending the majority of their time on activities, which they find engaging and motivating. These people are different. They have more energy, and they have that inner glow and the spark in their eyes, which you see in most kids. The light is on!

We all have something unique to give. We are all here for a reason. Do you want to turn on the light? You might want to ask yourself these questions:

What do I really enjoy?
What gives me meaning?
What are my true strengths?

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Part III in this series will elaborate further on other things that help people find happiness and fulfillment.

A letter from Poline

2007-12-12T23:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Coach Bay,

I want to share a story with you and other friends, readers of this blog.

One Saturday afternoon, my colleague, Tomas, called me for help. He had 2 tickets for a NBA game in Macau the following Saturday. His wife was not able to go with him, so he suggested to bring one of my young friends, who is 21 years old and suicidal from single parent family . He wanted to spend a day with this young man, sharing basketball, sharing life, and most importantly to see if there is anyway to help him.

This was really an encouraging message to me as I really want to help this young man to get out of his depression.

However, I could not contact this young man that afternoon. Suddenly, a person that would love an NBA game flashed in my mind. It was a 16 years old boy also from a single parent family. I have been taking care of his mum for 6 years after her divorce. The family is poor and has many difficulties. The boy could not have any Coca-Cola money (after playing basketball) and not allowed to have lunch out with his classmates (home-made lunch everyday).

I was leaving for a business trip to China, then, I made 4 phone calls and confirm a meeting for Tomas and the young boy, Kin, to recognize both faces before heading to Macau.

Then, it was quiet for 2 weeks.

Then, Kin’s mother called me and told me that her son had shared with to her that he had experienced the happiest day in the past 6 years. He only realized the meaning and the feeling of happy by that day. What?! The boy did not have any experience of happiness in the past several years. I was trying to help the family but I never know what to help with. After that wonderful day, Kin decided to make changes, wanting to study seriously, wanting to be a better person and wanting to help others when he grows up…

I was shocked by the feedback from Kin’s mum. I decided to know more about the trip to Macau.

Tomas told me that it was a wonderful day to both of them. The boy had opened his eyes like ping-pong ball all the day. It was his first time on a boat or ferry, his first time in a hotel, his first time to be a tourist, his first time to see a basketball match, his first time to spend time with a foreigner…. His first time…. His first time…. He had been walking whole day with his eyes wide open, never wanted to close them. It was difficult to imagine that a 16 years old boy grew up in that kind of life in a rich society, where my children have already been flying for hundred thousands of miles.

I really want to pay for his trip but Tomas insisted on not allowing me to pay. I thank him from the bottom of my heart. It was not only because the amount of money but also I see the amount worth a millions of dollars and the love which has been given to this young boy.

It is the first time I realized a few hundred dollars could be worth millions. The impact will last of more than 50 years, will benefit to the whole life of the boy, will benefit to his poor divorced mum, will benefit to others from this young boy when he does the same things to help others… finally benefiting me the most… who made 4 phone calls to make and witness the trip realized.

I am so happy about that great day! I feel very happy. I am shocked by all the outcomes. Actually, I did not do anything great. I have a heart for people and made 4 phone calls. That is it!

Tomas is also very happy. He is motivated. He has a warm heart to help others. He sees his worth in helping others. Most importantly, he just had a spare ticket and a need of a companion. That is it! Nothing really great but the outcome is great.

He definitely knows that he has done a great job in helping in the life of this young boy!

Coach Bay, this is a simple story but it means a lot to me. I really want to tell all others the great happiness I gained from this story. I never know that I can be so happy by doing a little help to others. It was really a little, a little help.

After that wonderful day, Tomas keeps contacting Kin, the boy, by email and text messages. Just imagine, how much they are worth? Millions...

Poline

Note from Coach Bay: Poline is a fantastic colleague with a huge heart. She insisted on writing the letter and having it published on the blog because the story was so meaningful to her. It is really not about what Poline or I did but about the power of reaching out and helping other people. Many people are doing similar acts of kindness, and many are not. We all have a choice to make a difference in somebody's life. This is a real example. Keep Inspiring!

Happiness - How do you find it? Part I

2007-12-06T20:22:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Several readers of this blog have been asking for ideas on how to discover what really makes them happy. Consequently, I have decided to elaborate on what happiness is all about, and what you can do to get more of it.

Happiness is an interesting thing, and while most people are pursuing happiness, we might have different definitions. So let’s start with a simple definition that I personally like:

Happiness is the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.

This definition is borrowed from Tal Ben-Shahar’s book “Happier”, which was released this year. Tal is a professor at Harvard University (USA), who teaches the class on positive psychology, which is the most popular class at Harvard. Since the late 90s, many psychologists have changed their focus from studying mental illness to the study of happiness and fulfillment, or what is nowadays called positive psychology.

Let’s have a closer look at Pleasure and Meaning.

Pleasure: It is about the experience of positive emotions in the here and now. A happy person experiences both highs and lows. His overall state of being is positive. Many people relate happiness to 'people bouncing off the walls'. While the bouncing people might be happy, we are here recognizing a more subtle form of happiness, which is milder feeling of pleasure rather than ecstatic and euphoric.

Meaning: It comes from a sense of purpose from the future benefit of our actions. We need the cause of emotions to be meaningful. We want to know that our actions have an actual effect in the world. To live a meaningful life, we have must have a self-generated purpose, that has personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society’s standards and expectations. This is imperative to understand as most of us live in accordance with our parents’ wishes, our peers expectations, what the ads on TV and in the magazines are telling us etc. We are not living in line with our own purpose.

Now, according to Tal’s model, people tend to live in 4 quadrants:

Happiness: “The overall experience of pleasure and meaning”.

The Happy Camper enjoys positive emotions while perceiving his life as purposeful. The Happy Camper has found the balance and enjoys both the moment (current benefit) and the future (future benefit).

The rat racer’s illusion is that reaching some future destination will bring him lasting happiness; he does not recognize the significance of the journey. The pleasure seeker’s illusion is that only the journey is important. The helpless, having given up on both the destination and the journey, is disillusioned with life. The rat racer becomes a slave to the future; the pleasure seeker, a slave to the moment; the helpless, a slave to the past.

Research in the USA has shown that in 1968, 83% would pursue a college education to have a meaningful life, while only 41% had money as one of their key reasons. In 1997, this had changed with 75% now having money as one of their main reasons while only 41% was pursuing a meaningful life.

Other studies have shown that on an average, college students today are less happy, more stressed and have higher levels of anxiety. This is not just in the USA but in other parts of the world too including China and Hong Kong, where I live. It is not a coincidence that the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology (HKUST) has been named the Hong Kong University of Stress and Tension by the students.

Many students are chasing high grades while they are not enjoying the journey. They are stressed and some are even depressed. In other words, they have become rat racers. This for many unfortunately continues when they get their first jobs and starts their careers. It becomes the ultimate race for the next pay rise, promotion etc without being able to enjoy the moment and the journey.

Others become pleasure seekers. They give up racing and change their focus to not caring about tomorrow, just focus on the now. They might indulge in food, computer games, alcohol, drugs etc to maximize the current level of pleasure.

The last quadrant is the helpless, who have given up. They find no meaning and no pleasure. Based on past experiences, they have concluded that there is no pleasure or meaning to be had.

Now the whole idea is to find a balance where you engage in activities and pursue goals, which are both pleasurable and meaningful. The answer to this is not the same. People find pleasure and meaning in different things, which is a good thing, as we would otherwise all want to do the same things. The important thing, however, is that those goals have to be yours and not what your parents or the media tell you to pursue.

In order to find your own path and increase your overall level of fulfillment and happiness, you may start out by asking yourself:

Pleasure: "What do I really enjoy doing?"
Meaning: "What gives me meaning?"

Hopefully you will find activities, where there is an overlap. Activities which are both enjoyable and providing meaning for you. Activities that will make you a Happy Camper!

Apart from searching for activities, you can also add pleasure and meaning to current activities. Ask: "How can I add pleasure and/our meaning to this activity?"

You might not find pleasure and meaning in everything you do. That is too ideal, however, by realizing this rather simple yet profound concept, you can start asking yourself some really powerful questions.

It is a journey, and we are ultimately all pursuing happiness.

When asked what they want for their kids, many parents will say that they want their kids to be healthy and happy!

We all have the choice!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Part II will further elaborate on this model as well as the power of engagement and utilizing your strengths.

Story: Who Packed Your Parachute?

2007-12-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied.

Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man grabbed his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"

Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb kept wondering what the man might have looked like in a Navy uniform. He wondered how many times he might have seen him and not even said good morning, how are you or anything, because you see, he was a fighter pilot and the man was just a sailor.

Plumb thought of the many hours that sailor had spent in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he did not know.

Now Plumb asks his audience, "Who is packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day.

Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down. As you go through your week, month, and year, recognize the people who have packed your parachute and enabled you to get where you are today!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

The Nun Study: How Hope Can Help You Live Longer

2007-11-27T21:49:00.001+08:00

By Coach Bay

Do you want to live longer? Happiness does pay off as hope and optimism have a long-term impact on our well-being. A very interesting study shows just that.

In 1930, 180 nuns who were around 22 years old wrote brief autobiographies. Each nun was asked by her Mother Superior to write a short sketch of her life.

The essay was to contain no more than two to three hundred words and should be written on a single sheet of paper. The nuns were asked to include place of birth, parentage, interesting childhood events, schools attended, influences that led to the convent, religious life, and outstanding events.

Little did they know that over 70 years later in 2001 their words would be able to predict their lifespan.

Psychologist Deborah D. Danner of the University of Kentucky and her colleagues analyzed the nuns' letters for positive emotional content, then related them to the nuns' survival between the ages of 75 to 95.

Their study revealed that the nuns whose autobiographies contained the most sentences expressing positive emotions lived an average of seven years longer than nuns whose stories contained the fewest.

Further, lifespan increased by 9.5 years for nuns whose
autobiographies contained the most words referring to positive emotions, and by 10.5 years for nuns who used the greatest variety of positive-emotion words.

Study coauthor Wallace V. Friesen said "Our results should spur research into the poorly understood link between positive emotions and longevity," and he continued, "I never would have guessed this association is so strong."

In this blog, we have on several occasions talked about happiness and fulfillment, which are part of living the best life possible. The nun study is a very powerful piece of research, which underlines the importance of certain character strengths and their influence on happiness. Other research has shown that the 5 strengths with the biggest impact on fulfillment and happiness are:

1. Capacity to love and be loved
2. Gratitude
3. Hope and optimism
4. Zest
5. Curiosity

If you want to know your strengths, go to www.viastrengths.com and take the VIA (Values in Action) strengths assessment. There is an assessment for young people too. It is all FREE!

You can also read more about the 24 character strengths, which have been selected for the assessment.

Many people are very good at pointing out their weaknesses or areas for development. This is were the focus is in many schools and companies too. The VIA strengths assessment is different as this is an opportunity to get more awareness of your personal strengths! Many of us do not even realize our own strengths, as we take them for granted, or we are just too focused on what is not working.

This is an opportunity to find your own strengths, and work on ways to apply them even more wherever you are. We all have something unique to give to this world and there is HOPE!

So what are you waiting for? This might even prolong your lifespan.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Returning to the City of (the) Angel

2007-11-21T18:55:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Last week I returned to the “City of (the) Angel”. I went to inspiring YangShuo (Guangxi Province, China) to run a leadership development workshop for a large corporate client.

The workshop was at the YangShuo Mountain Retreat, which I have earlier described in this blog as it is home to (an) Angel – my favorite little woman with the huge heart!

Angel works in the reception of the retreat, and she took really good care of all us. So did the rest of the people working there including their manager, Little Fish. It is just such a great place to stay.

We had a fantastic workshop, and the participants were engaged, and they all wanted to get the most out of it. This was the second workshop out of five. The first workshop was in Shangri-La in Yunnan Province.

The program is a leadership development program around the individual leadership journey. During the first module, they explored the question “who do you want to be?”, while this workshop covered “who are you now?”. The participants went through MBTI (Personality TYPE) and a 360 assessment to provide them with additional insights on their natural preferences, strengths and potential areas of development.

In line with positive psychology and strength-based management, they were exposed to the importance of pursuing meaningful, pleasurable and engaging activities.

The group was also introduced to Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), and the power of giving. We ran an activity called “Bikes for Kids”, where the participants worked together to assemble bicycles, which were donated to kids from a local orphanage. The kids came to the retreat and enjoyed part of the afternoon with the participants. The group will be doing a lot more community work in the coming modules.

YangShuo is a quiet and beautiful. It is easier to get away from our busy lives when we go to such a place. The participants were definitely inspired by the location, and it assisted the program and enabled them to focus on exploring and learning about themselves. They asked each other very powerful questions. It was a good time for reflection. We had many breakthroughs, smiles, laughs and tears.

We went to the home of an Angel, and we had a magical workshop. The participants had a very special experience, which they will never forget.

Life will never be the same again!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Coach Bay

Story: Real Friend

2007-11-14T19:18:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier, as he saw his life-long friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the "No Man's Land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.

"You can go," said the lieutenant, "but I don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your own life away."

The lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to their company's trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.

"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead, and you are mortally wounded."

"It was worth it, though, sir," the soldier said.

"How do you mean, 'worth it'?" responded the lieutenant. "Your friend is dead!"

"Yes sir," the private answered. "But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive, and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say, 'Jim, I knew you'd come.'"

Many a times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not really depends on how you look at it. Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in life. May each and everyone of you be blessed with the company of true friends.

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust

Thanks for being a real friend.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Coach Bay

Story: The Hunt for Happiness

2007-11-10T20:36:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

Every day, as we seek happiness, the world seduces us with a ceaseless barrage of things and people we can possess. It gives us plenty of compelling reasons why we should have them. It could be a new car, a new loud suit or even a new wife.

But if our happiness depends on our possessions, then we are destined to spend our lives chasing after an illusion.

A thirsty poet was walking in the woods one night when he came upon a well with a bucket and an attached rope. He looked into the well and the vision that met his eyes made his heart stop momentarily. Although a man accustomed to waxing lyrical about almost anything, he found no words to describe the beauty of the tranquil, perfectly round object, shimmering with ivory light at the bottom of the well.

Determined that such a dazzling thing should be his, he lowered the bucket into the well and tried to "catch" the object. The instant the bucket touched the water, the thing of beauty began to waver and distort. The poet brought up several buckets full of water, but the object remained at the bottom of the well. After the ripples had settled, it seemed to mock him with its serenity and inertia.

Undeterred, the poet labored the entire night until finally, he had emptied the well. He looked down and was shocked to see that the vision of beauty was no longer there! Worn out and distraught, he fell on his back, bemoaning his "loss". At that moment, he saw the fading moon in the sky, making way for the morning sun, and finally understood his folly.

Like the poet in the story, many of us spend our lives attempting to possess the objects of our desires. We try vainly to "scoop up the moon", not realizing that it's merely a reflection we see. We assume falsely that what we want is right there in the water. We think that we can bring it up to us, and when we do, we will be happy.

Eventually, we look around and realize that we had wasted our time and energy on artificial and inconstant things. We had squandered the water that would have relieved our thirst. We look up and realize that the actual moon was in the sky all along. Its beauty was something that anyone could savor without effort or price, but that no one could own or control, no matter how hard one tried.

Trying to find happiness in possessing people or things will ultimately bring us heartache, frustration and regret. It is in realizing that although we cannot possess the moon, we can still behold its beauty, that we find lasting fulfillment and mental tranquility.

What about you? Are you chasing the moon?

Have a fantastic weekend!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Go Green: What You Can Do!

2007-11-03T00:09:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

The Clinton Global Initiative had their annual meeting at the end of September. One of the 4 pillars of the meeting was the environment and helping Mother Earth.

Mid October, it was announced that Al Gore and U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change had won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for their fight against global warming.

Later in October, Time Magazine (Asia) had a special issue on the Heroes of the Environment, which apart from Al Gore, included a long list of different women and men from around the globe. People, who have all, made an impact in the drive for a more healthy Mother Earth.

The Hong Kong Government is presently running an ad on TV promoting a greener environment under the motto "I Love Hong Kong, I Love Green".

As such, I thought it would be opportune to provide the readers of this blog with another list of 10 things that you can do to help and support Mother Earth. (Source: www.about.com):

1. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Do your part to reduce waste by choosing reusable products instead of disposables. Buying products with minimal packaging (including the economy size when that makes sense for you) will help to reduce waste. And whenever you can, recycle paper, plastic, newspaper, glass and aluminum cans. If there is not a recycling program at your workplace, school, or in your community, ask about starting one. By recycling half of your household waste, you can save 2,400 pounds of carbon dioxide annually.

2. Use Less Heat and Air Conditioning

Adding insulation to your walls and attic, and installing weather stripping or caulking around doors and windows can lower your heating costs more than 25 percent, by reducing the amount of energy you need to heat and cool your home.

Turn down the heat while you are sleeping at night or away during the day, and keep temperatures moderate at all times. Setting your thermostat just 2 degrees lower in winter and higher in summer could save about 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide each year.

3. Change a Light Bulb

Wherever practical, replace regular light bulbs with compact fluorescent light (CFL) bulbs. Replacing just one 60-watt incandescent light bulb with a CFL will save you $30 over the life of the bulb. CFLs also last 10 times longer than incandescent bulbs, use two-thirds less energy, and give off 70 percent less heat.

If every U.S. family replaced one regular light bulb with a CFL, it would eliminate 90 billion pounds of greenhouse gases, the same as taking 7.5 million cars off the road.

4. Drive Less and Drive Smart

Less driving means fewer emissions. Besides saving gasoline, walking and biking are great forms of exercise. Explore your community’s mass transit system, and check out options for carpooling to work or school.

When you do drive, make sure your car is running efficiently. For example, keeping your tires properly inflated can improve your gas mileage by more than 3 percent. Every gallon of gas you save not only helps your budget, it also keeps 20 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.

5. Buy Energy-Efficient Products

When it is time to buy a new car, choose one that offers good gas mileage. Home appliances now come in a range of energy-efficient models, and compact florescent bulbs are designed to provide more natural-looking light while using far less energy than standard light bulbs.

Avoid products that come with excess packaging, especially molded plastic and other packaging that cannot be recycled. If you reduce your household garbage by 10 percent, you can save 1,200 pounds of carbon dioxide annually.

6. Use Less Hot Water

Set your water heater at 50 degrees celsius to save energy, and wrap it in an insulating blanket if it is more than 5 years old. Buy low-flow showerheads to save hot water and about 350 pounds of carbon dioxide yearly. Wash your clothes in warm or cold water to reduce your use of hot water and the energy required to produce it. That change alone can save at least 500 pounds of carbon dioxide annually in most households. Use the energy-saving settings on your dishwasher and let the dishes air-dry.

7. Use the "Off" Switch

Save electricity and reduce global warming by turning off lights when you leave a room, and using only as much light as you need. And remember to turn off your television, video player, stereo and computer when you are not using them.

It is also a good idea to turn off the water when you are not using it. While brushing your teeth, shampooing the dog or washing your car, turn off the water until you actually need it for rinsing. You will reduce your water bill and help to conserve a vital resource.

8. Plant a Tree

If you have the means to plant a tree, start digging. During photosynthesis, trees and other plants absorb carbon dioxide and give off oxygen. They are an integral part of the natural atmospheric exchange cycle here on Earth, but there are too few of them to fully counter the increases in carbon dioxide caused by automobile traffic, manufacturing and other human activities. A single tree will absorb approximately one ton of carbon dioxide during its lifetime.

9. Get a Report Card from Your Utility Company

Many utility companies provide free home energy audits to help consumers identify areas in their homes that may not be energy efficient. In addition, many utility companies offer rebate programs to help pay for the cost of energy-efficient upgrades.

10. Encourage Others to Conserve

Share information about recycling and energy conservation with your friends, neighbors and co-workers, and take opportunities to encourage public officials to establish programs and policies that are good for the environment.

These 10 steps will take you a long way toward reducing your energy use and your monthly budget. And less energy use means less dependence on the fossil fuels that create greenhouse gases and contribute to global warming.

We can all make a difference, and if we all do it, it will have an impact. People are often holding back as they feel that changing a light bulb does not really matter when you look at the pollution from cars and the large factories in China but it does make a difference!

We all have a choice and it starts at home.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Tomas

Story: Coffee or Cup

2007-10-28T12:13:00.001+08:00

The following story was submitted by a former colleague and good friend of mine, Lars Christiansen, who currently resides in Singapore.

It is a great little story about the really important things in our lives, and it definitely fits with the theme of this blog.

Enjoy the Coffee!

Coffee or Cup
Submitted by Lars Christiansen, Singapore

"The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect."

A group of graduates, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the simple and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee.

In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. Then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this:

Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. Enjoy your coffee!”

The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

· Live simply

· Love generously

· Care deeply

· Speak kindly

· Leave the rest to God.

You are the miracle, my friend; your life either shines a light or casts a shadow!

Shine a light and enjoy the coffee!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Buy 2 Bring 1

2007-10-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Last week, I had the pleasure of listening to Masami Sato, who was talking about the concept called Buy1Give1.

As some of you will know, I have been making a serious attempt to identify some young people in Hong Kong to mentor, however, I have so far not been very successful. I have until now been approaching various organizations, and as I am yet to receive a response, I decided last week that I had to change tactics.

At the same time, I also realized that the NBA was doing a promotional tour in China, which included a couple of exhibition games in Macau. I got on the phone, and I managed to get two tickets for the game this weekend between Orlando Magic and Cleveland Cavaliers.

As my wife was in Singapore visiting a friend, the next question was; whom should I bring? Now, usually I would find a friend and bring along, however, in the spirit of giving and listening to Masami, I got another idea.

Since I have a passion for helping teens, I was thinking what if? What if I could find and sponsor a teen, who has a passion for basketball but without the opportunity to go without support. What if I could surprise someone that I don’t even know and really make that person’s day? Action speaks louder than words, so Saturday I called one of my colleagues, who used to be a teacher, and shared my crazy idea. She responded positively, and within a couple of hours, she called me back.

She connected me with this great kid, Kin, who is 17 years old and lives with his mom. He has never been outside of Hong Kong, and he plays basketball.

So the idea of “Buy 2 Bring 1” was born! In other words, you buy 2 tickets for an event. One ticket is for yourself, and the other one is for the person you choose to bring. To make this valuable, the other person should be someone, who might not usually have the opportunity to attend such an event. As a result, you will be “making somebody’s day” big time.

Kin and I met early in the week, and we quickly connected by having a shared interest in this funny game with the orange ball.

We went to Macau Saturday, and we had a fantastic day! The game was at the Venetian Arena, which can hold 15,000 spectators.

We saw two NBA teams in action, and it was definitely a very different experience from watching a game on TV. Basketball has become big in China, and it showed.

We had a really good day together, and it is great when the love of sports can bring people together. After this trip, Kin and I plan on meeting again, and I might have found somebody to mentor. How cool is that?

Why am I sharing this story? Because we can all make a difference!

Big or small, we can all reach out and help somebody else. You too have that opportunity to make somebody's day.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Some Money for Daddy

2007-10-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

The man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure son, what is it?" replied the man.

"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"

"That's none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily. "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.

"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."

"Oh," the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"

The father was furious. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. 'How dare him ask such questions only to get some money!' After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00, and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep son?" he asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking," he said to his son. "Maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's that $10.00 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you Daddy!" he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, "Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father asked.

"Because I didn't have enough yet," he said, "but now I do."

"Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"

I hope you will all have a great weekend with people, who are important to you, and who treasure your time and attention.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Slow Down

2007-10-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and -- WHUMP! -- it smashed into the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH...!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car.

He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"

"Please, mister, please...I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE -- a long and slow walk. Now, Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar.

He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention.

Are you busy being busy? Do you need to slow down?

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: A Simple Gesture

2007-10-04T23:06:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

A simple gesture could save someone’s life. No, that does not happen every time but it pays to be kind to someone.

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed that the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder.

Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked, Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history. He was having a lot of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.

Mark went home after dropping Bill at his house. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, and then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school, where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long-awaited senior year came.

Three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.

Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Do you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide.

But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up my books that day, that simple gesture, you did a lot more. You saved my life."

Even a simple gesture might make a huge difference!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Clinton announces MyCommitment.org

2007-09-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

This week the annual meeting of the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) is taking place in New York. Leaders from around the globe are meeting with President Clinton to discuss and commit to initiatives to make this world a better place - to change the lives in the Global Village.

The meeting is focused around 4 key areas; Education, Climate Change, Global Health and Poverty Alleviation. You too can make a difference, and if are ready to commit or simply looking for ideas, check out Clinton's announcement of MyCommitment.org.

Living is Giving!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Pass It On!

2007-09-26T14:31:00.000+08:00

This story was submitted by Yim Choong Chow from Malaysia. Yim is an old friend and mentor, who aided my early days in Malaysia when I started my “Asian Adventure” years ago. He thought that the story would fit the theme of my blog, and be of interest to other people. I can only agree.

This story is very much in line with the message in the movie “Pay It Forward”. It is supporting the principles of the “Random Acts of Kindness Foundation”. In short, it is a good story – Enjoy it!

Pass It On!
Submitted by Yim Choong Chow, Malaysia

He was tired and aching and on his way home from a long day at work, so he almost didn't see the old lady stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His old Pontiac was still sputtering as he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "Pass it on."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair.

She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "This isn't a tip, it's a gift. You don't owe me anything. Somebody once helped me out and if you feel you want to pay me back, don't let this chain of love end with you, pass it on."

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills. Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it to closing time.

That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard....

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a gentle kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

Pass It On!

Living is Giving!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

I met an Angel

2007-09-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

This week I had the pleasure of visiting Yangshuo near Guilin in the southern part of China. A colleague and I traveled to Yangshuo to visit the selected venue for a leadership development workshop, which we will run in November.

The venue is the Yangshuo Mountain Retreat located at the Li river on a small plain between a number of karst peaks. The area around Yangshuo is everything that I imagined it would be. I know many people who have been to Yangshou, and everybody has talked highly about the area. It is indeed very beautiful, serene and inspiring. It is a very unique place in China, and it is definitely worth going as a tourist.

Nobody, however, had told me about the local angel, and what an awesome surprise! At the Yangshuo Mountain Retreat, they have a real angel! Her Chinese name is Zhao Chun Li, and her English name is indeed Angel. What an amazing person. She is the biggest little person, that I have ever met.

I will quote the Yangshuo Mountain Retreat brochure, where Angel is introduced:

"Born in the famous Ming Dynasty fishing village of nearby Xing Ping, Chun Li is 25th generation of Zhao Clan and the first hired staff of the Mountain Retreat. Chun Li was born with a severe form of Brittle Bone Disease, which causes dwarfism and bones that break very easily for no reason.

Despite her extreme disability and lack of formal education, Chun Li took up the challenge of leaving her village after 18 years to work with us. In the process, she learned English, QuickBooks accounting, and hotel financial control. Her courage and optimism are an inspiration to all who meet her."

When you enter the retreat, the first person you will meet is Angel, who manages the reception. You will see her wonderful smile, and she will welcome you, and in general do whatever she can to make your stay a pleasant one.

Due to her size, Angel does not sit at the reception desk - she sits on the desk, where she can operate the phone, computer and get things done. Angel does not walk but her fantastic mom works at the retreat as well. She carries Angel when she needs to move, and she helps Angel with the usual necessities.

Angel has an extremely positive attitude despite her obvious disabilities. Angel is a fighter, and she has decided that she wants to be the best she can be. She has found a job that she enjoys doing, and which is meaningful to her.

Angel has the famous spark in her eyes, which I have talked about earlier. She has the inner glow, and it is obvious. She has hope, and she is happy. I have met many people, who were much less challenged than Angel, and they had still given up on being the best they could be.

Last week, I posted the story “Something to Ponder”, and I don’t think that it was a coincidence that I met Angel this week. And it gets even better…..

Most of you will know, that I have highlighted Bill Clinton’s work in this blog on different occasions. He has just released his latest book, which is called “Giving – How Each of Us Can Change the World”. Highly recommendable.

Now, I had the book with me in my backpack as I am currently reading it. In the reception of the retreat, I see a photo of Bill Clinton hanging on the wall. It is a photo, which has been signed by the 42nd President and dedicated to Angel!

Clinton visited the area in 2001 but unfortunately he did not get a change to meet this remarkable young woman. Consequently, he sent her a nice letter of appreciation and a photo after his trip.

I showed Angel the book, and I described to her how she makes a difference every single day by living the life she does and by being such a wonderful soul.

Clinton’s book is full of examples of people, who are making a difference in this world. It talks about Bill Gates, Lance Armstrong and other famous people but it also talks about people that none of us have ever heard about; people who are out there changing one life at a time to make the Global Village a better place.

Because we can all make a difference!!!!!

Angel has realized that, and she does it every single day.

What about you?

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Something To Ponder

2007-09-16T09:45:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

The following is something to ponder if you don't know what to be thankful for.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church or synagogue meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder ... you are blessed because you can offer a healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Now isn’t that something to ponder about?

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

The Summer Interns

2007-09-08T12:38:00.001+08:00

By Coach Bay

This summer we had 3 interns employed in your department. Ruby from Mainland China, John from Hong Kong and Andrew from USA.

It was a great addition to our team, and it was inspiring to see their positive attitudes and energy. They showed an amazing appetite for learning, doing their very best and contributing. The made the team a better team, and they got a lot of work done.

They are all in college and their adult lives have begun. They are all on different and very interesting journeys. They are curious and love to explore. They have dreams, energy and a wish to be the best they can be.

Bill Clinton has just released his latest book called “Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World”. It is full of stories of how people are making a difference one life at a time.

The 3 interns are part of our future, and I am convinced that all 3 of them will move on and help changing the global village and making it a better place.

As some of you will know, I have passion for working with young people, and one of my favorite quotes illustrates this. The quote is from the movie “A Gift of Love: The Daniel Hoffman Story”:

“To tell you the truth, I really like working with you kids. You know, because you still have hope in your eyes and that’s a good thing.” - Coach Jack Farkas

Yes, the kids do have hope in their eyes, and that is indeed a darn good thing. They dare to dream, and they want to make it happen. Many adults have lost the hope in their eyes and that is a sad thing. The good news is that it is never to late to get it back!

We all have unique gifts, things we love to do, and we can all create more meaning in our lives, and regain some hope.

So what do you want your life to be about?

We can all make a difference, we all have a choice, and some of the questions we might ask are:

What do I love to do?
What is my dream?
What is my life about?
What footprint am I going to leave?

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: Twenty Dollars

2007-08-28T21:19:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by... WHO WE ARE.

You are special - don't ever forget it."

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

The Search for Happiness and Fulfillment

2007-08-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a colleague about happiness, and what really provides longer lasting happiness and fulfillment. Our discussion was unfortunately interrupted, so this morning we continued. When I entered the office early to prepare for another meeting, she was already here and we had a very inspiring talk!

My colleague had been thinking about happiness, and she provided me with her thoughts. After her sharing, I introduced the importance of tapping into and using your talents and strengths. Discovering what you are naturally good at doing, and what you really enjoy doing. In addition being part of something meaningful, something bigger than yourself. Whether that is raising a family, doing your dream job, being part of a church, helping poor kids in Africa, does not really matter. It is about the ability to “contribute”, "give back" or "pay it forward". Research has shown that these two areas contribute 40% to our level of happiness and fulfillment.

My colleague used to work as a teacher, and she went on to tell me about one of her former students. It is a 19 years old boy, who called my colleague yesterday in desperation. He was in short seeking a way out from his family. His parents are divorced, and he now lives with a very controlling mother and his younger brother, who is 16. He does not see his father anymore.

My colleague stepped up last night. She went out to meet with the troubled teen and mentored him. She asked him what he is good at and what he enjoys doing? He explained that he really enjoys cooking, and he loves to work with plants. In other words, he really enjoys using his hands. However, having told my colleague about the things he loves to do, he quickly went on and said "that is not possible in Hong Kong" and "I could never do that". It turned out that his mom had been telling him again and again that what he really loves to do is not possible or realistic. Instead he should pursue a degree! He should become an academic, so he can make more money.

Consequently, what his mom had been telling him has now become his (limiting) beliefs, and he is really struggling. He is obviously not happy, and he is clearly not allowed to pursue what he was really passionate about. He himself now believes that it is not possible.

This story is unfortunately not that uncommon today. Many parents have firm plans for their kids, and while they have the best intentions, they often do a lot of harm.

It is imperative to provide our kids and people around us with opportunities to nurture their unique gifts, talents and strengths. We all have them! Many kids actually have a good idea about that they are good at or what they love to do but they have been told otherwise by parents, teachers or other people around them.

So how do we change that? How do we create and provide an environment where our kids and we are allowed to grow develop using our natural gifts and strengths? For one, we can start to look and listen for clues - both within ourselves and in other people. Ask questions such as;

What am I really good at?
What would my friends say my greatest strengths are?
What do I enjoy doing?
If money were not an obstacle, what would I spend my time doing?

This blog is about changing lives in the global village, and helping people become the best they can be. Yesterday my colleague did her part to help this kid find and see possible solutions for a better life. They had a long talk, and he left feeling better. What will happen next? We don't know but I do know that my colleague will stay in touch with him, and support him where possible.

My colleague has also realized the importance of using her talents and strengths while being part of something meaningful. She definitely did that last night with the teen, and it provided her with a more lasting and more fulfilling sense of happiness and being enriched. A sense of making a difference!

We can all make a difference, and it might be you, who has that opportunity today! So grab it while you can.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: The Mountain Story

2007-08-21T18:42:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:

"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?"

Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"

He receives the answer: "Coward!"

He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."

And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"

The voice answers: "I admire you!"

Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"

The voice answers: "You are a champion!"

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence. This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coachbay

Story: The Chicken

2007-08-14T21:10:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

Once upon a time, there was a large mountainside, where an eagle’s nest rested. The eagle’s nest contained four large eagle eggs. One day an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down the mountain, to a chicken farm, located in the valley below. The chickens knew that the must protect and care for the eagle’s egg, so an old hen volunteered to nurture and raise the large egg.

One day, the egg hatched and a beautiful eagle was born. Sadly, however, the eagle was raised to be a chicken. Soon, the eagle believed he was nothing more than a chicken. The eagle loved his home and family, but his spirit cried out for more. While playing a game on the farm one day, the eagle looked to the skies above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring in the skies. "Oh," the Eagle cried, "I wish I could soar like those birds."

The chickens roared with laughter, "You cannot soar with those birds. You are a chicken and chickens do not soar." The eagle continued staring, at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be with them. Each time the eagle would let his dreams be known, he was told it couldn’t be done.

That is what the eagle learned to believe. The eagle, after time, stopped dreaming and continued to live his life like a chicken. Finally, after a long life as a chicken, the eagle passed away.

The moral of the story: You become what you believe you are; so if you ever dream to become an eagle follow your dreams, not the words of a chicken.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: A Shay Day

2007-08-11T08:53:00.000+08:00

Author: Unknown

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, who is mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a Team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

* * * * * * *

We all have an opportunity to make a difference in somebody's life.

Let's make it a Shay Day!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Youth Leadership in Action!

2007-08-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

By Coach Bay
It has been while, and July past. We had a fantastic holiday in Denmark with family and friends. We have now returned to Hong Kong, and it is back to work.

During the first week of our vacation, I had been given the opportunity to work as an instructor at the Camp True North, which was a week long summer camp for teens. All instructors (12 of us) were volunteers, and for all of us, it is a way of giving back.

The camp was the first of it’s kind in Denmark, and since it was a new concept, the actual facilitation was done by Seeds Training from San Diego. A fantastic company with outstanding trainers.

The 69 teens had a magical week, and most of them had significant breakthroughs. The theme was personal development and they learned about leadership, values, behavior, communication, multiple intelligences, teamwork and public speaking. They talked about their dreams and goals, and how to achieve them!

Throughout the week, they worked in smaller teams of around 11 participants each. They bonded and worked together while sharing personal stories and giving each other positive feedback, which was called “Gems”.

They were introduced to a very simple leadership model, which only consisted of two components namely being a “model” and a “resource”. It is the simplest model that I have seen and yet, it is so powerful.

“Model” refers to each of us being a role model. Having personal integrity by ensuring that our behavior is aligned with our values. Setting a positive example for others to watch. In other leadership models, it has been called things such as “Lead by Example” and “Model the Way”.

“Resource” is about each of us allowing ourselves to be a resource. It does not mean that we necessarily have to give money. Being a resource can be about helping another person, sharing knowledge, teaching, mentoring, working in a team etc.

We experienced a lot of role models and resources that week. It was an awesome experience to see how the teens, from being resistant the first day, opened up and allowed themselves to show their authentic self as the week progressed. We had so many smiles, laughs, tears, hi-5s and hugs!

It was a real WOW experience, and it was a magical week. I am so grateful for having had the opportunity, and I am very much looking forward to being an instructor at Camp True North again.

And for Team Incredibles, Thank you to all of YOU! – Camilla, Samantha, Niels Frederich, Martin, Cecilie, Anne, Mark, Mark E, Jonas, Signe, Nikolas, Simon and not least my fellow instructor, Eva.

Thank you to Nicolai Moltke-Leth for initiating and heading the camp. Thank you to Greg and Ken from Seeds for traveling to little Denmark to facilitate the camp.

You all make a difference and you seriously ROCK!

We are all in the business of changing lives in the global village.

Living is Giving!

Whooosh!

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Leadership in Action

2007-07-03T22:42:00.001+08:00

By Coach Bay

This week, I have been given the opportunity to work with another group of enthusiastic managers. This team is from Coca-Cola in China. Running the course in Shanghai, we are in the middle of one of the fastest expanding economies globally.

The participants are eager and hungry for knowledge. They want to improve themselves to they too can make an even bigger difference for both the company and their families.

On Friday, my wife, daugther and I will be going to Denmark for our annual vacation. We will have 3 weeks to relax and enjoy time with family and friends.

During the first week, I will be working as a trainer at a summer camp for teens. This is the first summer camp of its kind in Denmark, and the lead trainers will actually be from the USA. It is all about providing the teens with knowledge and tools to become the best they can be.

It will be a fantastic week, and I am very much looking forward to the camp. I am volunteering and it is an important part of my personal goal to give back and make a difference in other peoples lives.

Wishing all of you a GREAT SUMMER, and believing that you too will make a difference in somebody's life.

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay

Story: The Way We Treat People

2007-06-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

By Author Unknown

Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

1. - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached...

It read:

"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.

Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the

coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies...

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.

Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Now you have 2 choices.

1. Move on to something else

2. Share this story with people you care about

I hope that you will choose No. 2 and remember most importantly...

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

NOW more than ever - Please...Pass It On... But only if you care to...

Keep Inspiring!

Happy Days
Coach Bay